


Hello Darkness

by BlackSwan21



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demons, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fight Scene, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Revenge, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-03 03:21:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6594562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackSwan21/pseuds/BlackSwan21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes all you need to heal a broken soul is another broken soul. Dean just lost the most important person in the world to him and there is no bringing him back. Clara just lost the love of her life and is falling apart. Will they be able to heal each other before Dean's past comes to take it away?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! It's been a while since I wrote a long story so be patient with me. There is a lot of smut, but there is a plot I promise! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. I'm sorry for any mistakes, I don't have a beta reader so I did my best!

Clara sighed as she walked into the small western bar that she called work. The stereotypical country music rattling from the speakers on the walls, and her little leather boots clicking on the wood floor blended into white noise as she walked further. Another day another dollar. That phrase had become her mantra over the year that she had been working in the small bar. Clara kept telling herself that her ‘temporary’ job as a bartender would not last the rest of her life. These dresses and cowgirl boots were not going to be her daily wear for years and years to come. She was supposed to be out in the world being an actress right now. The reality, however, has become being stuck serving drinks to drunks and being paid to keep a smile on her face all night. Life could always be worse though right? That is what her mother used to say at least, and mother always knows best right? Still she made the biggest mistake of her life and now there was one less person around in her life. Here Clara is, months after her little mandatory ‘vacation’ working at the bar again. Trying to keep the unrelenting demons tormenting her mind at bay for whatever time she could, no matter how short it may be.

“Clara, we need you to work the bar today. Amy called in sick and Trixy just quit.” Isobella said as she poked her head in the back room, causing Clara to sigh as she hung up her oversized hobo bag; at least she didn’t get stuck working the floor. No one seemed to like working the floor lately, but they all usually took turns through a shift working it anyways. Systems however only function if everyone plays their part, and no one seemed to be doing their part at the bar. Luckily Clara was the most experienced bartender in the club so she normally got most of the shifts behind the bar. Which was good, it kept you busy and if you flirted enough they would tip you just as well as they tip the waitresses. The problem was not serving drinks necessarily. No, it was that constant struggle to be bubbly and happy for the public despite feeling nothing but emotional hell inside. 

By the time that Clara had her shirt and apron on, there were already a few customers coming into the bar. She was working the day shift today, which was probably the slowest times for the bar on a normal day yet alone a Monday. Most of the people who came in during the day were the older folks who did not stay up late enough to come to the night crowd, and the people who slipped out of the office for a little liquid courage before that big presentation. So being the only person working the bar was a breeze for Clara, and a breeze it was. Her shift was uneventful, to say the least, a few regulars popped by to say hello, check in to see if there are any new girls while they ease their worries. Like Isobella, her shift supervisor, says you are like a captive therapist with all the painkillers you will ever need. 

The bell in front of the front door rang loudly as someone walked in the bar. Clara looked up, her hands busy cleaning a cup as she watched the man walk in. He was undeniably attractive, but that definitely was not the first thing that she noticed about the man. No, the first thing she noticed was how tired and beat down he looked. His leather wrapped shoulders and denim covered legs may be holding him strong, but he looked purely and truly tired. When he came close enough to make eye contact she could see just how to beat down the man was. The dark circles under his eyes and, at least, a day’s worth of scruff on his face a dead giveaway of a long night. “What can I get you?” She asked him as he looked at her with a weary look in his eyes.

“Whiskey, no rocks.” The man answered as he sat down across from her and took off his leather jacket. Not saying a word more, just sitting there staring at his hands on the counter. He was like a puzzle that she wanted to finish, Clara needed to help him somehow. The man looked so miserable, he looked like she felt without the shield of the bar to plaster on a fake smile over. Whatever he was going through must have got him pretty down. Maybe a crap day at work? No that is more of a beer thing. Girl trouble was more likely the culprit, he looked like he would have girls all over him. She grabbed the whiskey and a glass and made her way back to the man, who had moved his eyes from his hands to the countertop. 

So Clara decided to get the ball rolling with the small talk. “Long day?” She prodded hoping to get some answers to her questions with the simple conversation starter. Even though Clara had the feeling that he was just here to dull his pains, not talk about them, which was what most people used the bar for anyways. To dull the hardships that they go through for however long the alcohol stays in their system, a temporary but quick fix for that hole in your chest, the heavy heart you carry, or that guilty conscious. Really it just caused more problems than it solved, but hey it kept her in the job so who was she to complain right? All she was paid to do was look pretty and keep the drinks coming out smoothly. 

“Long life,” He answered as Clara poured a glass of whiskey for the man and put it in front of him. It was hard not to notice that he tossed back half of the glass with one gulp. She could not help but wince a little at the thought of the burn going down his throat right now. It is never a good sign when someone tosses back their drink as quickly as that. Then again, she did not know this man, he could be a heavy drinker. Clara’s thoughts were broken when the man in front of her spoke again. “You ever feel like no matter what you do, or how hard you try... you just mess things up anyways?” The man asked his eyes finally looking up into hers as she stood there in front of him. 

Clara sighed as she looked into his bright green eyes, taken aback by the intensity of the storm of emotions inside them. Her eyes staying on his as she grabbed a rag and moved over to the sink. “I think we all do, just with varying degrees of how messed up we feel our lives have become,” She said, dunking the cloth in sanitizer and grabbing a bottle of cleaner. “I know that I have messed up things pretty bad myself, but you can’t stop trying or things will never get better,” Clara said as she started wiping the counter and gave him a small smile. Hoping the small gesture would make the topic a little lighter.

The man took the glass in his hand and looked down at the amber fluid for a while. Clara debated leaving him to his thoughts for a moment till he spoke again. “What if you did something horrible that you will never forgive yourself for and it ended up getting someone killed?” The man added, raising the glass to his mouth again and finishing the rest. Quickly motioning for more and running a hand over his neck. Looking like he was trying to ease the pain from a heavy load on his shoulders. Trying not to focus on how much she could truly sympathize with what he just said. How his word went right to her heart and grabbed it tight. She just stood there for a moment and watched the man before moving and going to find the bottle of whiskey again.

“Honestly, if you find out how to make that ache better you come back and let me know. That is a nearly impossible one to cope with,” Clara answered as she grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured him more. “You might want to slow your roll there,” She said as he started on his second glass of whiskey, looking over at her with a curious look in his eyes. Just looking at her for a moment before setting the glass down and leaning forward on the counter. It was his turn to watch Clara now, eyes searching hers for what felt like something deep inside her soul. What exactly was being searched for was a mystery, but the man seemed to find what he was looking for, or at least give up on finding it as his eyes returned to the glass in front of him.

The man held up his glass up and looked over at Clara again, motioning towards her with his hand as he started speaking again. “How exactly do you know so much about screwing up people's lives?” His eyes searched hers again when he finished speaking, holding the eye contact as he slowly took a long drink from his glass. The emotions in his eyes closing down like a wall was placed in front of them, instead being replaced by curiosity and a calm expression. “You seem like you have a lot of heavy stuff on your shoulders.” 

It was a good question, at first glance, you would not expect the person smiling across the bar at you to have a heavy conscious. The truth was, though, she had made a lot of mistakes in life that haunted her every day. It almost felt like it should be her specialty by now with all the ones she has made. “Well, I should have my Ph.D. in screwing up by now, and, believe me, I know that it is not easy to fix your mistakes all the time.” She said, being completely honest with the strange man. He was obviously having a rough day and it might not be as hard on him if the man felt like there were more people with screwed up lives than him. That is what she hoped at least.

The longer that the two of them talked though the more the man seemed to visibly warm up, a smile was even spreading across his face. “Oh, what this I see? Is that the start of a smile?” Clara asked, getting a full smile from the man as he shook his head at her. A smile of her own spreading across her face at how good he looked smiling, even if the smile did not quite reach his eyes. It was still beautiful. “Jackpot, I got a smile from him.” She joked with him, getting a small chuckle as he leaned further forward. Only to frown when someone banged their glass on the other side of the bar. Clara sighed as the smile faded from the man’s face as fast as it came. 

The last thing that Clara wanted to do was leave, things were just starting to get good. For some strange reason, the fact that she was able to put a smile on his face, as brief as it may have been, it really did make her day. There was still an hour left on her shift though and it might be dead, but there were still some people in the place. She gave the man a smile and moved to the other side of the bar, bringing the two men at the end of the bar their drinks before going back to her mystery man. “I got a second visit, that’s a good sign.” He said as his hand moved across the bar and brushed against Clara’s. Causing her to raise an eyebrow and smirk a little.

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for lost animals and angsty men,” Clara said as she smiled at the man earning a smirk and a hungry look in his eyes that sent a warmth rushing through her. “I can see you’re feeling better.” She said, earning a soft chuckle as her hand patted his arm, feeling the firm muscle under the jacket. “It might be the whiskey too.” With that, she looked down at his nearly empty glass and tisked a little. “You might want to slow down a little there, my shift doesn’t end for another hour. Wouldn’t want you passing out on me now would we.” Clara said, winking as she bit her lip and leaned forward a little giving him a good view of her cleavage without meaning to. 

The man smirked a little, his eyes drifting to her chest for a moment before looking back at her face. “Guess I better switch to beer then.” She smiled and turned around, quickly grabbing a glass from under the bar, feeling a set of eyes on her the whole time. “Would not want to disappoint the lady after all.” He said, finishing off the last of his whiskey, his eyes on Clara the whole time she moved around. “So if you’re free after your shift I was thinking that we should continue this conversation somewhere a bit more private.” The man added as he eyed Clara up with hungry eyes, reminding her of a man in the heat looking at a glass of water. 

Maybe it was the way he seemed to cheer up or just that damn smirk but she wanted to say yes to his offer. There was just something about being a bartender and letting a guy pick you up at the first try that made her feel skeezy. Not that she did not have her fair share of private meetings. The mysterious stranger had promises being, at least, a very pretty face to look at with his chiseled jaw and bright green eyes. “If I let myself get picked up that easily then I would always be in the backseat of some car,” Clara said softly, leaning over the counter and looking over at the man. “Although, I can probably be persuaded.” She added, winking at him again and leaving to go wipe the counter down.

“You will find I can be very persuasive.” He said as she walked off, feeling his eyes on her as she bent down and searched for a clean rag, wiggling her hips a little to tease him. The ball was in her court, and it is not like she had much to do tonight. There is no way he would stick around for long either, which was the way she preferred her relationships now, to be honest. Quick and easy, as little pain as possible. “Just drinks in the back booth?” The man asked. Clara still had her back to him as trying to scrub another sticky mess off the bar top. She knew exactly what talking would lead too, it always seemed to end with that when guys looked as good as this man did.

Turning around, she debated his offer for a moment before smiling a little. “Only under one condition,” Clara said as she wiped the counter all the way towards the man again and brushed her hand softly against his arm. “You tell me your name.” She added, leaning forward a bit to get a better look at the man in front of her; seeing the freckles that were sprinkled across the man’s lightly tanned face, the bags under his eyes speaking of sleepless nights. He gave off that rugged and dangerous vibe that most of the girls around here go wild for, including herself more than a few times. The one that your mother warns you about, but you just cannot resist. 

“Dean.” The man said as he leaned forward so their faces were closer. “Your turn, since you’re the only one in here without a name tag.” He added as he got close for a moment and looked down at her lips. Clara was sure he was going to kiss her, the worst part is that it was highly unlikely that she would stop him... or pull away. Part of her wanted to close the distance between them herself and let him have his way with her right here on top of the bar in front of everyone. Making her dig her nails into the bar top as she cried out. That would not be the right thing to do, though, like her mother taught her, you have to make a man work for his fun. Before she could even think about what to do before he pulled away and sat back in his chair smirking a little bit.

“Clara,” Clara answered as she looked down at her shirt and, sure enough, her name tag was gone. Probably buried in the laundry basket full of dirty clothes in her room. “My name tag is around somewhere, you’re the first person to notice I wasn’t wearing one.” She added as her hand smoothed over the spot where her name tag should have been and smiled a little. It was a little unsettling how she felt so comfortable around this man, or Dean rather. If that was even his real name. Trying not to think too much into the way her stomach fluttered when she saw the lust in his eyes or the things that she wanted to do to him. 

Her thoughts were broken when that deep raspy voice reached her ears again. “Well did I pass your test?” Dean asked as he brought his beer up to his lips and took a long drink from it, eyes never leaving her’s. She tilted her head a little and watched him, keeping a straight face for a moment before breaking out into a smile. "I'm going to take that as a yes." He said, giving her a smile and leaning forward again, his eyes watching her carefully. "Unless you want me to answer more questions for you," Dean said, smirking a little and taking another long drink from his beer.

Clara looked over at the clock and smiled, a half an hour managed to pass by in the time that they had started talking. It felt like the clock was mocking her, the hands seeming to move slower and slower at it neared two thirty. "I still got another half an hour left on my shift.” She said, smiling as her fingers drummed on the bar top. “I can’t take off early two days in a row,” Clara added as she bit her lip a little and moved her eyes down to his mouth for a moment. Wondering what his lips would feel like under hers, how he would taste on her tongue. She cleared her throat when the sound of a bottle being tapped on the bar top came from the other side of the bar. “Meet you back here in a half an hour.” She said, smiling and watching him for a moment before walking away. Looks like tonight was not going to be that bad after all.


	2. Five Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to get heated between Dean and Clara as they get to know each other better. Well, as well as you care to if you are planning on leaving town the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are going to alternate between Dean and Clara's point of view. Just give it a chance, I promise it won't confuse you. 
> 
> Again, sorry for any mistakes in advance.

Dean waited patiently at the bar, looking down at his drink and sighing. Not really sure why he was still waiting for her. It’s not like he deserved to have a night with a girl like her right now. Not after how bad he has screwed up. There is nothing left anymore. Sam was gone now, Cas was God know’s where doing his own thing... did he really want to drag someone down into what he was going through right now? Was he really that selfish to put someone in the kind of danger that surrounds him? Just as fast as those thoughts came the sound of Sam’s voice and the promise he made came into Dean’s swirling thoughts, live a normal life. Problem was that Dean was not really sure if he was ready for a normal life. 

Hunting was in his blood, it was his life. To give that up after almost his whole life living it... it was something he always dreamed of, to be honest. There were people out there dying and in danger that he could help, though. No, this woman did not deserve to be pulled into his mess of a life. She deserved so much better than he could ever give her. He got up and started putting on his jacket only to see Clara coming out of the back room looking concerned and slightly upset. The need to leave was being eroded when she saw him and smiled a little. That smile that he could see right through to the nerves she felt. Very different than the smooth calm woman from earlier. “What’s wrong?” Dean asked as she stood in front of him and looked up into his eyes. 

“Nothing, my boss is just being really creepy today.” She answered, causing Dean to raise an eyebrow and look around. It was probably nothing, but the thought of something possibly happening was enough to keep him there with her instead of taking off. In his experience, someone acting creepy all of a sudden around him was never a good thing. Better safe than dead right? He smirked at her when she started giving him a slightly concerned look. Hoping to push aside whatever he might have just shown on his face from her mind. Which judging by her next comment it did. “You know no matter how sexy of a smirk you give me all we are going to do is talk right now right?” Clara asked him, getting a chuckle as she tapped the toe of her boots on the ground. 

Slowly Dean moved a hand to the small of Clara’s back, resting it on the curve of her lower back, stroking the smooth fabric of the fitted red dress. Another smirk spreading across his face when he felt her lean into his touch and shiver a little. “I’m just going to have to do some persuading of my own then. You will find that I am very good at it.” Dean said, wrapping an arm around the woman next to him and feeling her lean into his side and wrap an arm of her own around him. Out of pure instinctively Dean gave the room a once over, checking for anything out of the normal around them. Leading them both to a booth in the back of the place when he finished, one that gave him a view of the whole bar and everyone around them. It just happened to be next to the back door as well. Clara shifted away from Dean suddenly, clearing her throat, clearly about to say something when he beat her to it. “Okay, no touching.... yet,” He said smiling at her and motioning to sit down first. “So I’m starving, I’m going to go and get some food. Do you want anything?” Dean asked as she slid into the booth and sat at the back of it, raising an eyebrow at him. Clearly surprised by the question. “Long day at work, figured you could use some food.” Dean explained as he stood by the table and watched her as she raised an eyebrow. 

“Buying me dinner already, you don’t waste any time at all do you?” Clara said as she gave him a smirk of her own, clearly joking with him. There was something about that smile on Clara’s face that he could not help but smile back at. It was the type of smile that he used to get from Sam when the would joke around and just have fun together. Dean’s chest tightened a little as the memories flooded his mind of those times with Sam in the Impala when they would forget the fact that the world wanted to kill them usually. “A chicken salad would be awesome,” She answered, breaking him out of his thoughts and back into the painful reality. With a quick nod, he turned around and headed to the counter to order some food. Sighing softly and leaning on the bar as he waited for the food, looking back to Clara who was still in her spot behind the table, doing what Dean could only assume was people watching. Just keep it casual and you will be in and out of this town without any mess, just a quick meet, and greet. No complications. 

There was a plan set out in Dean’s head by the time that he came back to the table with their plates in his hand. He had to avoid complications right now, which was no different than the usual way his meeting with women in bars went. So Dean did what he always did, put that big grin and hoped to God that it looked genuine. “For the lady,” He said, setting the salad in front of her and setting the beer next to it. “Some actual food for me,” Dean said, as he set a big greasy burger in front of him and sat down. Shaking his head when he looked over at her plate, not at all surprised that someone who was as small as she was, ate salad for supper. Then again, if he was not so active almost every day, basically working out with all of the lifting and digging, then he would probably be the size of a small truck by this point. Dean grabbed his burger and smiled at it like an old friend before looking over at Clara’s salad with a frown. “You know that apparently the dressing on there is apparently just as bad as a burger,” He said, picking up the burger and taking a big bite of it while he watched her. 

“Seriously, you’re going to get on me for eating a salad when you are eating that grease trap?” Clara asked, shaking her head at Dean and waving her fork at him in the most adorable attempt to be serious. That firm look on her face did not last long before it turned into a big smile and a soft chuckle. Causing Dean to smirk again through his mouthful of food. Genuinely surprised at how much better he felt just sitting down with Clara and acting normal for once. To have a friendly conversation that was not about work. Joking around like he used to what felt like years ago. It felt really good, so much better than he deserved. “So Dean, you got me sitting at the table with you. Now, what are you going to do with me?” She asked tilting her head a little bit and giving Dean this smirk that sent the blood flowing from his head in a whole different direction with the promise that it held in it. Only to raise an eyebrow when he noticed her looking at the bar with a concerned look in her eyes. 

Turning around he saw a small, young, black woman standing at the bar watching them with a strange look in her eyes. Watching her as she looked at him for a moment before quickly turning around and disappearing into the back room. He could not ignore the feeling he was getting in the pit of his stomach about the place like something was about to happen. If he left now though that would leave Clara wide open to whatever is going on here. Having another person getting hurt, or dying when he could have done something about it... well that just was not going to happen. “There are so many things that I want to do with you, sweetheart.” Dean answered, turning her attention from the bar and over to him. A soft chuckle leaving his mouth as he watched her face change and a hungry look cross over that beautiful face. 

Dean nearly choked on his burger when she started rubbing his crotch with her foot. Putting pressure in the right places and massaging with her toes. A soft groan left his lips as he quickly grabbed his beer and took a long drink, trying to control himself from going under the table and doing some playing of his own. “I’ll make you work for it, but I’m going to definitely have some fun of my own.” Clara said as her foot rocked slowly, creating the wonderful friction that had Dean moving his hips with her foot. Almost whining when she suddenly pulled her foot away from him. “It’s always so much better when you work for it is it not?” Clara asked as she smirked wickedly at Dean who just shook his head. Adjusting his pants a little before going back to the half eaten burger in front of him, taking a bite so big that his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk, plotting how to get Clara back later. “I promise it will be worth the work if you do it right, though.” Clara said as she bit her damn lip again, giving Dean the urge to take it between his teeth and suck till it got swollen.

“I’m sure it will be,” Dean said, continuing to work on his burger and try not to choke at the speed he was eating it with. They sat there for a moment working on their food in silence. It was not an uncomfortable silence, just a silence. The silence did not last long, though, soon Dean broke the silence by clearing his throat and looking around the room. “So, what kind of work am I going to be doing? Should I be warming up for some heavy lifting?” He asked, causing her to crack up and laugh. Dean just gave her a small smile and leaned forward, his burger long gone and the fries now the focus on the plate. “So, you going to keep me in suspense?” Dean asked as he held up a fry and slowly bit off a piece of it, watching Clara carefully as her eyes followed the fry from his mouth.

She sat there and tapped her cheek a little, looking deep in thought. “Hmm, I was thinking that we could play a game. Five lies.” She said, tilting her head a little again and causing Dean to raise an eyebrow. Five lies was more of a game that you played in middle school, not really what he would expect to be something that would be classified as work to get into someone’s pants. Might as well play it up, though, have some fun with it. Dean gave her a slightly confused look, acting like he had never heard of the game before. “All you have to do is lie five times then you win the game. Whoever wins gets to decide what they want to do with the other. Anything they want to do goes.” Clara added, a smirk spreading across her face as Dean sat up straight. His attention fully on her now. 

Dean returned Clara’s smirked, watching her and biting his bottom lip, noticing how she was staring at his mouth. Seemingly mesmerized by the simple gesture. “Anything goes then, like anything?” He asked reaching over to pick up his beer and taking a drink from it again as Clara nodded. It was a strange way to get someone to leave a bar with you, but he had a feeling that either way they were going to be leaving together. This game was more just to decide who get’s to be top or bottom. If there is a ride or a pounding. “I’ll try, I’m not sure how good I will be at it, though,” Dean said as he scooted a little closer to her and put his hand on her upper thigh. Noting how she straightened up and cleared her throat. Moving his hand up her dress and slowly pulling it up. 

“Okay, I’ll start with an easy one.” Clara started as she grabbed her beer and took a long drink. Her voice shaking a little as his hand reached her upper thigh. “What’s your name?” She asked, looking over at him and shifting in her seat and facing him better, legs open a little wider. 

He shook his head softly before speaking. “Jimmy Page,” Dean answered looking like the Cheshire cat with the grin on his face. Lightly rubbing her through the lace underwear that was hardly covering her. Earning him a soft gasp, her hand gripping the table tightly. 

The effect that just his hands were having on her was enough to give him great satisfaction, the flush spreading across that pale skin just made it all that much better. He watched Clara bite her lip as she held up a finger before speaking again. “Are you a virgin?” She asked leaning into his hand as his fingers brushed against her clit through her underwear, earning a quiet moan.

“Yes,” He answered as his eyes drifted down to her chest and lingered for a moment, watching it rise and fall with the ragged breaths.  

She held up two fingers, this time, her hand shaking a little. “Two down,” Clara said breathily as she straightened up and watched him, his eyes moving frown her chest to her lips. “Have you ever had sex in a public bathroom?” She asked, nearly whining when he pulled his hand out quickly. Oh was she in for it later. 

He shifted in his seat a little as his eyes wandered around the bar, taking in all of the surroundings again. “Never,” Dean answered, a cocky smirk spreading across his face as she narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Wow, if I didn’t know better I would say that you have played this game before.” She said, earning an eyebrow raise from Dean. The woman was up to something, that much he could tell just by the look on her face right now. What exactly she was up to was the question. “How many questions was that?” Clara asked as she tilted her head to the side a little, making Dean want to just lean over and trail kisses down the beautiful pale skin. 

Dean was about to answer when he caught himself and shook his head at her. “That’s cheating missy, I think that calls for a disqualification,” He said leaning forward and putting a hand on her leg again, scooting so she was pressed against his side.  

Clara put a hand over her chest in an attempt at mock hurt as she shook her head. “I am not a cheater,” She said dramatically before cracking a smile and letting her eyes wander over him. Getting another cocky grin as he saw how well this night was really going to go now that he was in control for the whole night. “Looks like you win then Jimmy Page,” Clara said, smiling and watching him as he watched her with hungry eyes. Knowing exactly what he was going to do first to her. He was going to start right here and now, make her squirm and come undone at his touch, with the thrill of everyone possibly hearing. She had no idea what she was in for tonight. 

“So, since I get to decide what I am going to do with you now. I think that I am going to start right here.” Dean said, moving in his seat and moving her close to him and pressing their lips together. It started out innocent enough, then their tongues tangled together and started fighting for dominance. His hands moved to her hips again and lightly pulled her dress up. “Stay nice and quiet or I will stop.” He said softly, getting a confused look from her before sinking to his knees and disappearing under the table. Slowly he moved over to Clara and slipped his hands up her dress; shimmying her underwear off with a little help from the woman. His head quickly disappearing under her skirt, taking a deep breath as she spread her legs further apart and scooted closer to him. A voice came up to the table and Dean smirked, this was going to be perfect. He heard Clara gasp softly as he spread her folds and started flicking his tongue over her clit. 

“Are you okay Clara, you’re acting strange? Where did the mystery man go?” The woman asked, causing Dean to step it up a little as he started sucking on Clara’s clit, flicking it with his tongue quickly. Causing her to jolt and gripped the table tightly. Insisting that she was fine and just had a case of indigestion. Trying not to chuckle his tongue faster and she panted softly, leaning back and closing her eyes. The woman talking to her now sounding very concerned as Clara jolted up and gripped the table tightly as Dean thrust a finger inside her. 

Then it clicked for the woman what was happening. “Good God, he is going down on you right now isn’t he?” The woman asked in a whisper, getting a soft groan from Clara in response, her nails clawing at the table. “That’s so hot, I can’t believe you are doing this girl.” She went on as a soft groan left Clara’s mouth. He pumped fast and hard before suddenly pulling away and smirking as one of her hands reached under the table and tried to pull him back. Dean was having none of it, though, he just slid back up in the seat and smirked at the woman. Getting smacked by Clara as the woman walked away. “What the hell, I was so close.” She said furiously, looking incredibly hot with her heaving chest and flushed face. Dean couldn’t help but lean over and kiss her, their tongues tangling together again. It was a long moment before they broke apart and Clara slowly opened her eyes. “You better continue that later you shit.” Clara said firmly.    

“ I think we should head somewhere a bit more private.” Dean said as he moved away from her and slid out of the booth. Watching Clara as she bit her lip and grabbed the purse from the spot next to her. He watched her with a hungry look in his eyes as she straightened her dress out and slipped her shoes back on. Maybe his payback was a little extreme, but damn was it effective. A little taste for her that his talk can be backed up by skill from a lot of practice in a way. Hopefully setting whatever nerves that Clara may have at ease in the fact that she was in capable hands, despite letting a complete stranger take control of her for the night. It was only for a night, though, that should at least be of some comfort, right? Judging by how tense she seemed to of gotten that did not seem to be enough to comfort her. 

All it took was him lightly running his hand over the soft skin of her arm for the woman to visibly relax and lean into the touches. Throwing all caution to the wind and just letting herself enjoy it, or seem to enjoy it for now. It had been so long since he had felt like this about someone. Actually had the feeling of raw need, craving those soft touches, the feeling of their skin against his... it made him remember what it was like to actually live through the days without drinking until the world seemed to suck a little less. He still could not help that uneasy feeling in his gut, like something was going to happen, waiting in the darkness to pounce on them. Looking around the bar once again showed him that everyone appeared to be normal, but then again, if you were about to pounce on someone that would kill you if they found out then would you really want to stick out?

”So, since you were tossing back the whiskey earlier I think it would probably be best for me to drive,” Clara said as she dug for her keys in her purse. Still seeming a bit tense, making Dean wonder what happened before she came out of the backroom earlier and if that had anything to do with how tense she had suddenly gotten. When he put a hand on the small of Clara’s back, she seemed to calm again, the rest of the stiffness leaving her body. He must have a calming effect on her or something from the way that she seemed to be relaxing at his touch every time. “I have no problem with that, I walked here for a reason.” Dean said as he smiled at Clara and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, lightly stroking her cheek and making eye contact before she smiled and quickly lead him out of the door. They reached a little yellow Beetle in the parking lot that he assumed was Clara’s. He went to the passenger's side and waited for Clara to unlock the door only to see her looking off into the distance in the tree line of the parking lot. “Is everything alright?” Dean asked, looking around to see if anything was there and turning his gaze to Clara when he saw nothing. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thought I saw someone. Obviously, I didn’t though.” Clara said, chuckling a little and quickly unlocking the door as Dean started looking around the parking lot again. The feeling in the pit of his stomach getting worse as he walked around the car and looked into the tree line for a moment, just watching before sighing softly and slipping inside of the car. “What was that about?” She asked. Dean could feel her eyes on his as he looked out the window and just sat there for a moment before she spoke again. “Did you see something spooky lurking in the tree line, there is supposed to be a sasquatch out there.” Clara said, clearly teasing him. 

Dean just sighed as he turned his head towards her. “No, it was nothing, just trying to see if there was really something there where you were looking.” He said, shrugging and trying to play it off. Not really wanting to tell her that he was about eighty percent sure that there was something weird going on around the bar, and possibly the whole town depending on what it was. Not that she would believe him anyways, people usually need the proof thrown in their face to believe, and even then they have a problem believing. 

Clara shook her head and patted Dean’s shoulder. “Always the hero aren’t you?” She asked him. A pang of pain hitting Dean in the chest at the comment, it was innocent enough, it was just... he was always trying to be the hero in a way. Not purposely of course, but he tried to march in and save people. What good did that do him, though? Everyone still either hated him or was killed for even being a part of his life. No matter how hard he tried to save people they would still die and there was nothing that could be done about it. Chances are if there was anything in town it would probably kill Clara before Dean got to it, and he would let her down like everyone else in his life. “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you by that. It was just a joke.” Clara explained, Dean could feel her eyes on him again as they sat in silence for a moment before he just shook his head. 

Deciding to just keep this as shallow as possible, no emotional ties, nothing that will leave an impact. Just pure, unadulterated lust. “It’s fine. I just have a lot on my mind. Alcohol and pretty ladies, however, do act as a good distraction.” He said, smirking a little at her as she looked at him and laughed. Hearing her laugh surrounding him in the car made brought a smile to his face as he watched her, just enjoying the moment. “It is kind of nice to know that I am not the only one in the car that is messed up.” Dean said softly as his voice lost any playfulness that was in it and in turn was replaced with a neutral one as he struggled not to let the tumbling emotions inside come out in the tone. 

Dean looked away as he saw Clara shake her head, just looking out the window and leaving the woman to do what she needed to do right now. “Trust me, I have done some terrible things, some that I will never forgive myself for. It’s just something you have to learn to deal with. I find alcohol and sex help with the problems from it.” She said, the sound of drumming on the steering wheel bringing Dean’s attention from the window back to Clara. Who was currently drumming to a beat in her head on the steering wheel. “It’s not exactly the healthiest way, but it sure is effective,” Clara added, smiling to herself with a look in her eyes that made it clear that she did not know she was being watched again. When her eyes moved over to Dean again the smile faded and she went to speak again.

“That is one of the hottest things that I have been told,” Dean said as he moved his hand onto Clara’s thigh and squeezed a little, causing her to shift in the seat. “Someone really close to me once said that just because it kills your liver ain’t mean it isn’t medicine.” He added, smiling a little to himself, looking out the windshield, thinking back to the times in the house of the man who was the closest thing to a father figure he had in a long time. The man that he would do anything to have back in his life. The state he is in right now, though... not even Bobby could help him right now. He was a thousand miles away from the car at that moment, deep in his thoughts about the past and the bittersweet memories, just looking out the window at the trees. 

He stayed like that for a while before the sound of Clara’s voice brought Dean out of his thoughts. “Sounds like something an alcoholic would say. No offense meant to them.” Clara said as she pulling up to a stop sign and waiting for a family to cross the street. Dean watched them walking across the street together happily and sighed softly, trying to not let his thoughts wander again. “How much do you want to bet that he is talking to his buddies on the phone trying to get out of watching the kids while the wife goes to “book club”?” Clara asked as she made air quotes at book club. Dean raised an eyebrow and studied the family for a moment and how the man had a dopey grin on his face when he was talking. 

“No way, he is probably talking to his mistress or something with that smirk on his face,” Dean responded as he looked over at Clara and smiled triumphantly like he had won a contest or something. Almost daring her to suggest otherwise to his logic. He decided to join in on her game, searching for someone else to speculate about as Clara started driving again. “What do you think about mister tacky tourist over there? I say sugar daddy.” He said, pointing at the man waiting at the bus stop with one of those horrible tropical themed shirts with a big hat to finish off the outfit. Next to a young blonde woman about twenty years younger than him, fixing his greying hair sticking out from his hat that looked like it more belonged on Justin Timberlake. 

Dean was checking out the woman and how short her little tight dress was when Clara spoke again, bringing his attention back to the car and to the girl very willing to let him have his way with her without the plastic face. “There is no way a guy like that is going to get a hot little thing like that without something to catch her eye. He is either hung like a mule or rich enough to afford implants.” Clara said as she chuckled a little and patted Dean’s arm. “I hope to God that they aren’t brother and sister because that shit is just wrong.” She added, earning a laugh from Dean as he shook his head and fake shuddered. “Little eye-searing trauma there,” Clara added as she laughed loudly. Causing Dean to smile at her, finding himself just enjoying being around this woman and how easy their conversations came. 

A few more games of guess the couple later the two of them had made it to the small apartment building that Dean assumed Clara lived at. “You coming or what?” She asked, getting out of the car and making her way across the street. Leaving him there watching her for a moment, before he got out and quickly followed her. Hearing the car beep behind him as he rushed to catch up to her before she got too far. So the fun begins now. 


	3. Anything You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winner chooses what they want to do to the other. That was the terms of the game. Clara finds out just what she is in for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning some serious smut ahead.

Clara opened the door and made a sweeping motion with her hands as they walked into the small studio apartment. “Welcome to the Clara bed and well... bed.” She said, laughing a little and tossing her bag onto the table by the front door. It was not anything special, rather average to be honest. Complete with a black folding partisan to close off the area she called her bedroom and a towel as a door to the bathroom. The strange part to her apartment though was that despite the plentiful pictures and art on the wall, none of them were personal ones. They were either random black and white prints, or photographs she had taken of things in her travels. Not one of them were her and friends or even family. There was only on picture of her and family resting on the stand next to the couch that somehow Dean had managed to find on his exploration. 

“It’s the one family picture that I actually have of all of us.” Clara said as she walked over to Dean and looked at the picture of her and another other woman with a small child hanging from the older woman’s leg and two men wrestling in the background. “It was years ago but it captures the family perfectly.” She explained, her voice sounding like a mixture of every emotion. It really was not the time to spill her heart out to a stranger right now. Especially one that would most likely be gone in the morning.  So she did the next best thing and took the picture from his hands carefully and placed it back on the stand, standing close to him. “So I have seen and felt what you would can do to me in public. Now, what are you going to do now that we are in private?” Clara asked as she bit her lip and touched his hands with hers. 

Before she could say anything else Dean was reaching behind and carefully untying the carefully braided hair, setting the blonde wavy locks free to cascade down her shoulders. Backing them up till Clara’s back was against the door, his hands quickly grabbing her wrists in a hand and pinning them above. Pinning her hips to the wall with his, stopping any movement while pressing their bodies close. She could feel everything, and it felt very promising. A smirk spread across Dean’s face as his beautiful green eyes met Clara’s blue ones, lips hovering inches from her's, begging to be kissed. “I think you’re about to find out their sweetheart.” He said, slowly leaning forward and closing the distance. A smile spread across Clara’s lips as she nipped at Dean’s bottom lip, trying to deepen the kiss and explore that beautiful mouth again. God, his lips felt good against her’s, moving in all the right ways... All she could do was move her lips with Dean’s as the kiss grew deeper. A small gasp left Clara’s mouth when his hips ground down and pressed her further into the wall. Sparing no time, he took full advantage of this chance and darted his tongue into her mouth. 

Clara got so lost in the feeling of his tongue tangling with hers that she barely noticed the zipper of her dress slowly come undone. It had been so long since Clara had been kissed like this that she really had no idea how to react besides melting into the kiss. To be completely honest a kiss had never really got her this worked up before, she had never been reduced to a giggling schoolgirl by a single damn kiss. Clara made quick work of his jacket, slipping it off those broad shoulders with ease, her hands moving under that fitted t-shirt, feeling the muscles flex under the soft touches. His muscles were so firm that she could not help but squeeze them. Which considering his obvious love for a greasy diet was a surprise. Eager to actually see more, Clara broke the kiss and slowly pulled the shirt over his head. Clara’s eyes moved down his chest and she could not keep the smile off her face. He was not ripped, no his muscles were padded a little with the greasy food. Yet they were beautiful, sinfully beautiful.   

When Clara looked up at his face and was greeted with that cocky smirk, she just could not resist the chance to wipe it off that beautiful face. They just stood there for a moment before Clara moved her hips against him as much as his hands would allow, groaning a little at the friction. Dean tightened his grip a little, quickly lifting Clara up off the ground and pressing her firmly into the door. Legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as she pulled him into another kiss. This kiss was deeper and more passionate than the other kiss, their tongues dancing together as her hands moved up his back and pulled him close. She closed her eyes and just let herself get lost in the feeling of his skin, the way his tongue was exploring her mouth... everything was so overwhelming that Clara just felt like she was in a sensory overload and all thoughts left her mind.  

Clara was so lost in everything that she did not notice when her back left the door till Dean’s lips pulled away. She locked eyes with Dean’s as her back slowly was laid down on the bed. Watching at her feet as Dean crawled up so their faces were next to each other, his body hovering over her. The sight of those now dark eyes looking into her’s with that hungry look in them was enough to almost make Clara’s heart stop. “What to do with you first?” He asked himself his eyes roaming down, breaking the eye contact as they roamed to her chest. “What to do.” Dean pondered, one of his hands moving from its spot next to her head supporting his weight. Slowly she felt his hand moved under her, making quick work of the clasp of the bra standing between them. Her skin did not even get a chance to feel the cold before Dean’s hands were covering it, caressing and squeezing.

A small moan left Clara’s mouth as his fingers pinched her nipples, working them till they were hard like pebbles. His hands were calloused and rough, but the touches soft and careful. The contrast was enough to make her breathing speed up on its own, but when he took one of the nipples in his mouth... any thought process that existed was lost as she arched her back and gripped the sheets tightly while his tongue started to swirl around. By the time that Dean had worked on both sides and was satisfied with his work, she was ready to pounce on him right there. “You keep teasing me like this and I may just pounce on you,” Clara said as her hands moved from the sheets they were clutching and onto Dean’s back, gripping onto the soft skin tightly. 

Clara’s hips rocked against him a little, desperately seeking friction. Moaning softly when she felt his bulge pressing against her. They both groaned at the new friction between the two of them. “You couldn’t have let me win the game could you?” She asked breathlessly, taking a deep breath as he got off the bed and pulled her to the edge; just watching him as her legs dangled off the bed. “Going to continue what you started earlier?” Clara asked as she grinned at Dean and bit her lip a little as his eyes wandered over her body. Almost making her feel self-conscious with the attention.  

“I’m going to finish all right,” Dean said as he settled himself between her legs, nipping and kissing his way up the soft skin. She bit her lip, trying to calm her racing heart as he moved further up the soft skin. His lips felt sinfully good against Clara’s skin but she wanted more, her hips wiggled a little as he got to her upper thigh and moved over to the other leg. God, at this rate she was going to go insane with need by the time his lips reached their destination. A soft whine left Clara’s mouth as he spread her legs out wider and held them in place with his hands. “Good things come to those who wait.” He said chuckling a little bit, causing Clara to shake her head as she let out a puff of air, leaning back on the pillows. She did not get long to think before all rational thought process left her as fast of the flick of a tongue. 

Dean’s tongue flicked at her clit, causing a loud moan to leave her mouth, fingers weaving into his hair and pulling him closer. Her grip tightened and a soft cry filled the room when he alternated between flicking his tongue and sucking. "Oh God." She gasped, and rocked her hips into Dean’s face, feeling that build up starting. It was not long before he stopped sucking and she let out a huff of air, looking down at him and seeing a mischievous smirk on his face. He slowly moved his attention back to her, this time plunging that warm tongue deep inside. Clara could not even form words anymore, all she could do was moan as her hands gripping Dean's head tighter, pulling at his hair roughly. The way his tongue moved inside her, the spots he hit mercilessly... God this man had a talented mouth. 

She felt him replace that wonderful tongue with fingers, pumping quickly as his mouth returned to its previous spot. All that had been built up through the whole thing, with the added thrusting it all started to spiral almost instantly. A loud cry filled the room as Clara tossed her head back, arching off the bed and gasping for air. "That was worth the wait," Clara said breathlessly, her breathing heavy and uneven as she tried to catch her breath. Slumping back down to the bed and smiling like a fool. She smiled at Dean as he moved back up her body, trailing soft kisses. Lightly pulling her limp body to the pillows before climbing off the bed. Clara could not help but bite her lip as she watched Dean strip down in front of her that tan skin exposed to the world. Those firm muscles flexing as he moved, no doubt putting on a show for her. The man looked for lack of a better word, exquisite and she had only seen his back so far.

When Dean turned around to face Clara she was definitely not disappointed at the sight that met her eyes. He obviously saw her very obvious visual exploration of his body, that cocky smirk on his face showed it clearly. “You like what you see?” Dean asked, crawling back on the bed and moving on top of her. Settling between her legs as he opened the foil package with his teeth and grinned. She felt her heart sped up when he brushed against her entrance, slowly sliding inside, filling her inch by inch. A soft groan left her lips at the feeling of him deep inside. It was Dean’s turn to groan as he started moving inside her, starting out painfully slow. She wrapped her legs around him and urged him to speed up, on the verge of begging for more.

“You know being a little rough never hurts,” Clara said as she moved a hand to the back of his head and pulled him in for a deep kiss. The kiss was deep and rough as he started thrusting faster, almost pulling all the way out of her before thrusting back inside her. She moaned loudly arching her back a little as the headboard hit the wall, over and over again. Clara’s muscles clenched as she started to feel that warmth building in the pit of her stomach again. Dean’s movements got faster as a loud groan left his chest. The room was filled with moans and the thud of the headboard against the wall. 

When Dean changed his angle Clara could not stop the loud cry that left her mouth as he hit that sweet spot. Her head was thrown back, nails digging into him as he hit that spot relentlessly. The combination of his rough thrusts and those sinful noises coming from Dean brought her to the edge fast and hard. An overwhelming pleasure swept over Clara as she came completely undone underneath him. His thrusts grew faster and more erratic as he started rubbing her clit. Clara gasped feeling her over sensitive nerves go into overdrive, with no warning she cried out loudly clinging to Dean as he tightened his grip around her. Both of their cries filling the room as Clara held on for dear life. 

She panted heavily as Dean collapsed on top of her, both of them panting for air. It was quiet for a while, both of them just trying to catch their breaths. Clara looked over at Dean and smiled when he looked over at her. “If that’s the kind of things that you are going to do, feel free to take control anytime you want,” Clara said, smirking as she rolled onto her side and watched Dean, getting a deep chuckle from him. He rolled over so he was on his back, pulling her into his chest. “It’s amazing how good sex can put a smile on even the grumpiest of faces.” She said, curling up to Dean’s side and resting her head on his chest. 

Dean’s chest rose and fell as he sighed softly, smiling a little when she looked over at him. “Well, good sex is pretty much a pick me up for almost anything.” He said, wrapping an arm around Clara, tracing his fingers along her back. She smiled softly at Dean and just laid there as his calloused fingers traced patterns on the soft skin. “To be honest with you I didn’t really come into the bar with the intention of coming out with a beautiful woman,” Dean said, as Clara raised an eyebrow at Dean and watched as his eyes moved to the ceiling. Looking like whatever was on his mind before was coming back inside. Whatever it was obviously must have been eating at him if the post buzz of sex could be dampened by it. She knew the look, trying not to think about something that won’t stop nagging you to pay attention to it. 

All Clara wanted was a distraction today, she was not actually expecting to care about what was tormenting Dean. This was very dangerous territory to even approach. She smiled and carded one of her hands through his hair, getting him to look over. His eyes looking calm and cool again like someone had hidden all the emotion from them. Emotional distance, you cannot care about this. “If it makes you feel better I wasn’t intending to bring anyone back here either.” She said, chuckling a little and watching him smile back at her. “Honestly, I’ve been in need of a distraction lately,” Clara said as she ran her fingers down his face and scratched a little at the stubble. Try to keep her own distracting thoughts from leaking into her mind.

When he tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow she knew that she had said enough to peak his curiosity. Which was going to mean she was going to share more, possibly getting attached to the man that would leave when they got out of bed. Then it hit her, he would leave. No sticking around and giving awkward looks or that pity that everyone gave her. Even if he did it would not be for long. Maybe telling him what bothered her would not be that bad of an idea. However, it was Dean that surprised Clara by opening up first. “I know the feeling, it’s hard to find a distraction when everything reminds you of how messed up things are now,” Dean said as he sighed, his hand rubbing circles up and down her back. Calming any unease she had with the simple gesture. 

“Honestly, I find that the more I try to distract myself the worse it gets. I think as hard as it is going to be. You just have to face these things head on. I just don’t think I’m ready for that yet, though.” Clara said as she shook her head and looked away from Dean for a moment and tried to keep the emotions inside from becoming overwhelming. She looked back up at him to see he was still looking at her. A thoughtful look in his eyes this time as he gave her a small smile. Her eyes lit up as she came up with a plan to cheer both of them up and take their minds off of the demons floating around inside them. “You up for round two?” She asked, lifting her head up and grinning at him. Just seeing his eyes darken a little and that damn smirk returned, giving her as much of an answer as she needed. Clara moved so she was straddling Dean and giving him a smirk of her own as his hands moved to her hips. “It’s my turn now,” Clara said, leaning down and kissing him softly as her hands ran down his arms.


	4. Nightmares and Good Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time he closes his eyes the darkness takes over. It is all consuming and overwhelming. Never has Dean had anyone to comfort him like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More wonderful smut, and minor gore.

Dean was sitting on the motel bed watching the lightning of the summer storm striking in the distance. It had been a long hunt and he was taking some much needed relaxing time. Just sitting on the bed with the window half open to fill the room with the smell of the fresh rain. The low rumbles filling the quiet room. He turned his head to check on Sam, the kid was terrified of storms. If he only knew how much worse was out there in the world. Dean knew it would only be a matter of time before Sam woke up and starting freaking out. Sure enough, Sam was on the bed next to him shaking with the cover over his head in no time. Something in him would not let him leave his brother to be scared under the blankets. Yes, as his father would say. There is a hell of a lot more scary out there then a damn storm so smarten up, but Sam was genuinely afraid right now, and someone needed to help him. So Dean placed his hand on top of Sam’s shoulder through the blanket. “It’s okay Sammy, I will keep you safe.” He said softly, lightly rubbing his shoulder as he cried into the bed. 

“It’s just a little rumbles, nothing is going to hurt you,” Dean said as he laid down under the covers and wrapped an arm around Sam. Something warm and sticky met his arm, though, causing him to get up and look at his hands. Even in the dim light of the room he could see the thick coat of red all over his arm. No, no, no… Dean started to panic as he pulled back the covers and saw Sam lying there, his clothing torn, and blood everywhere. “Sam… oh God.” He said, full on panic spreading through him as he watched his brother shake. Sam screamed loudly as he turned around and looked Dean straight in the eyes. Dean was frozen he could not even think. There had to be something to fix this. A soft voice started coming through the air, seeming to come from nowhere. Was that… his name? It sure sounded like it. The voice was getting louder until finally he felt something shake him and he opened his eyes and saw a woman in front of him.

All he noticed were those bright blue eyes at first, they were full of concern and a little bit of fear. Watching him carefully, as the world slowly came into focus. The wavy blonde hair, light skin, the eyes… The events of last night started coming back to him and he blinked, frowning a little as the woman, or Clara rather, moved from in front of his face to laying beside him. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to warn you about the nightmares before I passed out,” Dean explained as he bit his lip nervously and looked over at Clara next to him. “It probably freaked me out more than it did you if that makes it better.” He added, shaking his head and reaching an arm around Clara. Trying to stop the tears that were burning at his eyes at the thought of going another day living with the fact that his brother is stuck in hell with Michael and Lucifer in a cage. Being tortured and God knows what while he sits here in bed with a beautiful woman. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down as his heart started racing.

“You know I was not expecting for you to still be here in the morning. You seem kind of like a wham, bam, thank you mam type.” Clara said, causing Dean to open his eyes and looked over at the woman. Watching her as she gave him the same smile from yesterday, the one that did not quite reach her eyes; yet still lit up her face. The one that caused the shooting pain in his chest from the memories of the last time someone genuinely smiled at him. How he would never see that dimpled goofy smile again. It was painful, yet he could not help but give her a smile back of his own. It was small and rather weak, but it was more of an actual smile than he had given in a while. Clara’s light touches on his chest as she lightly traced patterns on his skin only further relaxed his frayed nerves as he watched her carefully. “I guess I could have just taken you back to your place too.” She added, causing Dean to smile a little more at her. 

Dean watched Clara for a moment and her seemingly endless smile, noticing the puffs of air she was letting out to try and move a piece of hair out of her face. With a small chuckle, he reached over and moved the piece, tucking the hair behind her ear. “Better?” Dean asked as he smiled at Clara when she nodded and wrinkled her nose a little at him. “To be fair we were both pretty tired after that very thorough workout last night slash early morning.” He said, watching Clara as she sat up and watched him. “What are you up...” His words were cut off when their lips crashed together, bringing any thoughts that might be on his mind to the soft lips pressing against him. They just laid there for a moment, lips locked in a deep kiss as Dean’s hands rested on the small of her back. It was not long before Clara's lips trailed kissed down Dean’s jaw to the sensitive skin of his neck. “Got to say you have the most active sex drive I have ever had the pleasure of being subjected to,” Dean commented, tilting his head a little to give Clara more access to the sensitive skin.

The soft nips and soothing kisses had him closing his eyes, trying to focus on how good those kisses felt. Only to have them fly open as her teeth sunk into his skin softly and she sucked at the pulse point. Dean did not even care about the mark that he was going to have later, all he cared about his increasing blood flow south. Slowly he ghosted his hands over Clara’s sides, feeling a shiver through her body. It was not going to take long at all to have her worked up and pouncing on him. When Dean made it to her chest and started massaging softly, she was already making soft moans into his skin. Her movements stopping altogether. He grinned widely, rolling her nipples between his knuckles as she panted a little. Only to have her suddenly grab his hands and put them on the headboard. “Stay, or I will bring out the cuffs,” Clara said firmly despite a flush spreading across her cheeks, and her lips red, swollen a little from the kisses. 

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing,” Dean asked as he grabbed the bottom of her headboard to stop himself from touching. The only response he got was more kisses down his neck, with soft nips at the collar bone. Dean’s hands gripped the wood as he struggled to restrain himself while she moved down his torso. His breathing faltering when she started nipping at his hipbone. Using every bit of self-control he could muster not to put his hands in those beautiful locks of hair. “You are going to be the death of me, woman.” He said, his voice husky and strained.

Clara's laugh met his ears and he looked down at her only to see that she was crouched over Dean, like a cat ready to pounce on a mouse. “You are in very capable hands, or mouth actually.” She explained, making Dean groan a little at the thought of those swollen lip around him. Breathing speeding up as he watched her hover over him, those soft hands spreading his legs apart before settling between them. “Relax and enjoy yourself,” Clara said to him, her thumbs brushing the inside of his thighs. God, she was driving him crazy. He did not get much more time to think before the feeling of her tongue circling him made his control break; his hands flying into her hair and tangling in the soft strands.

That damn mouth, as good as it felt last night through his slight buzz, this was so much better. Dean’s fingers tightened in Clara's hair as he panted a little, urging her head to go faster with his hand. His head hitting the pillows as he felt the muscles in the back of her throat hit him. It was more of a growl than a moan that left him this time as his eyes closed, just focusing on not losing it right there. It became more of a struggle as Dean’s felt himself hit the back of her throat again. Crying out and losing himself for a moment as his hips bucked. The sound of gagging brought Dean out of his haze and he looked over at Clara to see her coughing a little. “Shit, are you alright?” Dean asked as he sat up and rubbed her back. “I’m so sorry.” He added, the guilt filling him taking over any bliss that was felt before. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Clara said, giving him a smile as her hand ran over the inside of his thighs. He still felt the guilt of causing her to gag weighing on him till he looked into those beautiful eyes. Just getting lost in them as the sat there for a moment. Before he could say anything Clara was speaking again. “Now, it would just be cruel for me to leave you hanging like this.” She said, her hands firm on his shoulders and pushing him back down onto the bed. Just looking into her eyes, seeing the lust and passion in them mixed with something he could not figure out... It was enough to make him forget about anything but the hand that was squeezing him firmly. Moaning loudly when her mouth replaced the hand. God, she was so good, it felt so good. It was not long at all with the things she was doing with her tongue and the massaging, he was on the brink in no time. Quickly tapping her head to warn Clara before his head tossed back and the pure ecstasy ran through him. 

Loud breathing was all that could be heard in the room as Dean looked over at Clara next to him on the bed, just smirking a little and watching him. “That was one hell of a good morning,” Dean said as he watched her and smiled as she laughed. That laugh that he just could not keep the smile off his face every time he heard, the pure joy captured in it shining through. The buzz from Clara’s morning welcome did not last long, though. All too soon he felt reality sink in. The fact that there was no brother in a motel room to go back to. No hunt that he had to rush off to after Sam called him...it was all gone. “You know I was looking for a distraction but it’s also more than that.” He started, looking at Clara and clearing his throat before starting again. “I just needed to be around a friendly face, just have company again.”

Dean frowned a little and slowly sat up on the bed, leaning against the wall as Clara sat up next to him. It was quiet for a moment, both of them just in their own thoughts. When he glanced over at her he saw that she was still smiling at him, but this was not the infectious one it usually was. It was sad and pained, the thought that he might have done anything to cause it was chewing at his mind as Dean watched her. “I can understand the need for company. I’ve been alone for a while now, just sitting here by myself...it’s very hard sometimes.” Clara said as she scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. 

There was something about the thought of Clara being all on her own that did not sit well with him, that beautiful face and bubbly personality being trapped inside this apartment seemed almost like a cruel punishment to him. He just ran a hand through Clara’s hair and sat up, pulling her into his lap and leaning on the wall. Sitting there in silence before Clara spoke up again. “I made some pretty big mistakes and I can’t take them back. So just being with someone who isn’t judging me and makes me forget what a truly awful person I am... it’s more than a welcome change. Even if it is temporary.” She explained, causing Dean’s head to shake as he ran a hand through her hair again, playing with the strands between his fingers. 

He did not doubt that Clara had been through a lot in her life, that much was brutally obvious at this point. To be fair he knew just about as much about her as she did him, which was really nothing besides the fact that they both had issues. “Clara, honestly, I’ve seen real evil and many horrible people. Trust me when I say that you are not a bad person. You’re just a fragile, healing, caring person.” Dean said as he turned her head with his hand. Looking her in the eyes, just sharing a look for a moment as they looked into each other’s eyes, blue meeting green. 

A frown spread across Clara’s face as she broke eye contact with him and shook her head. “Sometimes looks can be deceiving.” She said, biting her lip which was still glistening with what she swallowed earlier. Dean just watched Clara, sighing softly and running a hand up and down her back. “I killed my boyfriend,” Clara said as she shook a little, giving away that something just broke inside her. He just pulled her close and placed kisses in her hair as she spoke again. “Max was drunk and called me to take him home from a party. We were arguing and I took my eyes off the road for a second... this truck came out of nowhere and t-boned us.“ She explained, trailing off as her breath hitched and tears started streaking down those soft cheeks. 

Dean sighed as he pulled Clara close and just held her. Knowing that there was nothing that he could say to make her hate what she had become any less. So he settled for the only thing that he could do and just held her while she cried. Tried to comfort her in what little way that he could. “You know, no matter what happened or who did what, you can’t change it. All you can do is try to move on and make up for what you did in whatever way you can.” Dean said softly, rubbing what he hoped were soothing circles on her back. “I also don’t think that you’re a bad person over one mistake that you made,” Dean added as he tucked her head under his head. Just holding Clara for a moment before she pulled away and looked him in the eyes. “I made so many mistakes, they all lead me to one crappy end, with no family or anyone to stand by me.” He explained as his eyes looked deep into hers, the misery and pain clear in their depths. 

It was a long time before Clara moved and lightly pressed her lips against Dean’s in a sweet lingering kiss. Dean had no idea why he gave this woman that he might never see again so much information. Maybe it was the fact that he probably would not see her again, or that feeling of comfort and understanding that he felt around Clara. Either way, what he said seemed to have calmed her down and helped put everything back in place. “That damn being human thing and the flaws can be really annoying.” Clara joked, her voice still a little shaky and she smiled at him. Just pressing close to Dean for a moment and hugging him tightly. “Let’s go make pancakes.” She said, nuzzling Dean’s neck and slowly getting up off his lap. Sure he was probably going to be gone in the afternoon, but for now in this moment, it was about Clara and him. Just forgetting for a while and having a fun time. So he just let go of everything and smiled at Clara as they got out of bed. 


	5. Knocking on My Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been a week since Clara and Dean had their night/ morning after the bar. Clara has not quite got that sad face out of her mind, though. What happens when that sad face isn't as far as she thought it was?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There won't be as much smut from here on, mostly just angst and healing.

That God awful whiny drone called music played loudly over to store speaker system as Clara stood in front of the boxes of cereal. Watching the boxes as if the right one would jump off of the shelf and hit her in the face. All that happened was those colourful boxes and bright colour looking back at her. It had been a week since Clara had seen Dean, and it was not the least bit surprising that he left in the night while she was sleeping. At least he wrote a note thanking her for everything. That is what the plan was right? No strings. Yet, as much as she told herself that a part of her still wondered what happened to the man. If he had actually managed to pull himself together or not. The chances of seeing that man again were slim to none, though. That was just the way drifters were; coming into your life one day, or night, and moving out as fast as they came into it. That was the way that she liked her relationships now right? One guy is not going to change that. 

She sighed and took her cart to the till, feeling like someone was watching her the whole time. When Clara looked around the room she saw nothing out of the normal, though. Probably just her imagination going wild again. That seems to be happening a lot lately. Strange feelings of being watched and seeing shadows in the distance. The stress of everything must really be getting to her. Maybe it was too early to get back into the swing of things after what happened. Her head was obviously not on straight right now.  

It did not take long to get through her errands for the day done and to get back to the small apartment. She had just finished putting the groceries away when there was a knock at the door. No one was supposed to be coming over today. It was not out of the normal for the girl guides or random people to come to the door selling something or another though so she thought nothing of it. “Just a sec.” Clara said loudly as she closed the fridge and put the plastic bag under the sink before making her way to the door. To her surprise when Clara opened the door and there was Dean, looking as run down as he did the first time she saw him. “Dean, what are you doing here?” She asked, clearly surprised by his sudden appearance on her doorstep. 

He jus too sighed and pulled his hands out of his pocket, taking a deep shaky breath. “I just... I can’t be alone right now.” Dean said, that deep voice cracking a little as he looked down at his hand. She felt her heart break at looking at him so vulnerable like this. Something bad must have happened to have him coming back to a stranger for comfort. “I’ll understand if you tell me to leave, you have no obligation to do me any favours.” He said, as Clara just watched the man for a moment, taken aback by him being there at all. “This was a bad idea.” Dean said as he turned around and went to leave. 

Clara moved forward and grabbed his arm before he could get far. “Hey, come in. I’ll make you some something good to eat.” She said, moving her hand down to his hand and leading him inside, closing the door behind them. “On the menu tonight is steak with a side of cheesy potatoes.” Clara added as she watched Dean stand there, a faint smile on his face as he looked over at her. “Come, let’s make something good.” She said, smiling at Dean and motioning for him to follow her into the kitchen.  

They made their way to the kitchen and Clara buzzed around, chopping and crushing. She looked over at Dean who was sitting at her new kitchen table, just staring down at his hands again as a tear streaked down that stubble covered face. “Hey, you look like you know how to handle your meat. Why don’t you come give me a hand with the steaks?” Clara asked as she walked over to Dean with the tongs in her hand. “Not that I can’t handle a piece of meat of course.” She said, smiling at him as he looked up at her with a small smile on his face. 

“I’m not going to debate that one.” Dean said getting up and taking the tongs, looking down at them for a moment. His smile fading as he looked back up at Clara and sighed. “I promise not to burn them.” He said, walking over to the fridge. “This is going to be the best steak you ever had.” Dean said, his voice a bit more upbeat as he dug around for something in the fridge. Clara just let him do what he wanted with the steaks. Chopping and squeezing things into the pan before putting a lid on top of them. 

Clara chuckled and shook her head as Dean turned around and raised an eyebrow. “You know it’s steak, not a science experiment right?” She teased, crushing the potatoes with the masher. He just waved the tongs at her and turned back to the stove. There was no chit chat this time when they cooked together, just a comfortable silence. Neither of them really sure what to say to each other right now. Sometimes you don’t need to say anything, though. She set out the plates and put the pot of potatoes next to the plates on the counter as Dean put the steaks on them. “Go for teamwork.” Clara said as she held up her hand and looked over at Dean expectantly. 

He just shook his head and chuckled a little and smacked that big strong hand into hers. “Your something else.” Dean said as he took the spoon in the pot of potatoes and dished them out. Clara smiled as she went to the fridge and grabbed two beers for the pair of them. “Be prepared to be wowed by my science experiment.” He said, smiling a little and taking the plates over to the table and putting them across from each other. “I like the table. Can’t wait to break this one.” Dean joked, getting a smack on the back from Clara as she walked past him. Remembering very well how they broke the other one that day. 

They didn’t say much while they ate, besides little grunts and hums from the new tastes that each of them were being met with. “Okay, I will give it to you. That was a damn good steak.” Clara said as she put down her cutlery and sat back. “You are more than welcome to make science experiments that taste like that in my kitchen.” She said, smiling at him as he finished off his bottle of beer. “Want to watch a movie? They have an Indiana Jones marathon on tonight and I’ve been looking forward to it all week.” Clara said as she drummed her hands against the table. 

Dean smiled a little again as he watched her before getting up and grabbing the plates. “Sounds like a great night to me.” He said, piling the empty plates and cutlery before leaving into the kitchen. She quickly got up and followed him, taking the empty bottles from the table on her way. “So this is what you do with your downtime, you sit around and watch movies? I would have thought of you as more of a going out and partying type.” Dean commented as he put the plates in the sink, turning around and finally looking Clara in the eyes for the first time. 

His eyes, while they were bloodshot and slightly puffy, were still just as beautiful as the night they met. Clara just shook her head at his comment and shrugged. “Well, I haven’t exactly been as fun as I normally am for a while. I normally do go out and party, though.” Clara said as she put the bottles in a bin by the garbage can. It was hard to believe that the person that was barely ever at home just months ago was going to be spending her downtime watching old movies. Things had changed though, Clara was trying to get back to the person she used to be. Part of her was wondering if the person was still there though. “Who can argue with a little Indiana Jones though, I mean come on. That’s quality movie’s right there.” She said smiling at Dean as she turned and faced him. Desperate to take her mind off of the path to self destruction it was on right now. 

She watched Dean as he shook his head and chuckled a little. “No argument there.” Dean said, leaning against the counter and giving Clara a once over. While Dean might have looked a little better than when he walked in it was obvious that his mind was not all with her right now. There was such sadness around Dean that she just wanted to hold him close to her till he felt better. “Do you have any popcorn, no movie is complete without popcorn.” He said, walking over to Clara and standing in front of her, tucking a strand of hair away that had fallen out of the messy bun. 

Clara looked up at him, smiling as she patted his chest and moved past him to the pantry. “Do I have popcorn? Ha! You can’t watch a movie without popcorn.” She said, taking out the hot air popper from the top shelve and bringing out a bag of kernels. “Go sit down and I will bring you some popcorn.” Clara said, patting Dean on the back and brushing past him to grab some butter. Soon enough they were both sitting down in front of the t.v with a big bowl of popcorn on the table in front of them. 

They sat there for a while just watching the movie, slowly hacking away from the pile of popcorn. It was about halfway through the movie before Clara heard Dean take a deep breath. She looked over at him and saw that he was looking up at the ceiling and taking deep breaths. Seeing him so upset was hard, so Clara did the only thing that she could think of and scooted over to Dean, wrapping her arms around him tightly. “Sorry, I just...” Dean started as he wrapped his arms around her tightly and took deep breaths. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She offered, letting him pull her onto his lap and cling tightly. His head rested on her neck as a small sob left him. Warm wetness hit her skin as Dean started shaking a little. All Clara could do was just hold him close as he cried. She ran a hand through Dean’s hair and kissed the top of his head as he sobbed softly. They just sat there for a while, Clara was not really sure how long it was. The movie had changed to the next and he classic music was already playing when Dean stopped sobbing and his grip tightened a little.

Her hand gently stroked his head as he started to pull away. She gave him a small smile, her hand resting on his face, softly wiping the tears away. “My brother, he... he’s gone and now. It’s all my fault.” Dean  said as he shook his head and looked away from her, more tears streaking down that grief-stricken face. She knew what it was like to blame yourself for someone’s death. Blaming yourself for a family member's death, that was a heavy burden to shoulder. 

She watched him as he took a deep shaky breath and shook his head. “I’m so sorry that you lost him,” Clara said as she took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “No one should have to go through the loss of a loved one.” She added bringing his hand up to her face and kissing it lightly. Just sitting there and watching him, lacing her fingers with his as she sighed. “I know it is no comparison, but even though it has been months since... time doesn’t always make things better, it just makes you miss them more,” Clara said as she shook her head and squeezed Dean’s hand. 

The two of them just looked at each other for a moment, neither of them saying anything. Neither of them judging or pitting the other, they had an understanding of how loss can weigh on you. Bring you crashing down to the ground under its weight. Making it impossible to pick yourself with all the weight on you. “I know he would want me to live a normal happy life, but I just keep thinking about how he is suffering because of my decisions,” Dean said as he shook his head and looked down in the space between the two of them.   
What do you say to someone in a dark place like this to keep them from disappearing in their darkness? Was there even anything that could be said? She just shook her head and watched Dean for a moment. “I might not know everything about what happened, and you by no means have to tell me. It’s just... you can always find something as your fault if you look hard enough. You need to find something to hold onto, grab it and never let go. Use it as your anchor.” Clara said as she brought his hand to her mouth again and kissed it. 

“I have nothing left Clara, he was all I had,” Dean said, his voice cracking a little as he squeezed her hand tightly. Clara’s heart was breaking for this man. Dean had lost everything he had with his brother’s death. Sure she lost Max, and it was slowly eating her alive, but she had her sister if it got bad enough. Having nothing... well that would be a fate that she would not wish on anyone. “I lost the only family I had and I’m stuck living here in this world alone. How am I supposed to live life normally when my brother is in hell?” Dean asked, looking at Clara like he wanted an honest answer to the question. 

How would you live life knowing your sibling is in hell? To be honest, Clara probably would not be living at all. How he knew his brother was in hell, well Clara was not going to touch that one. Right now she just wanted to keep him from going off the deep end. If Dean was bad enough to not want to be alone then he was already pretty far. “Well it probably doesn’t help any but you have me, and while I might be a bit biased on the topic, I am pretty awesome.” She said, looking at Dean  and smiling at him when he gave her a faint chuckle.  

He sighed at her and shook his head. “You’re definitely something else, that’s for sure,” Dean said, his voice sounding stronger as he untangled their hands. Wrapping his arms around Clara and pulling her close to him. “Thanks for letting me in.” He said, smiling a little and leaning forward. Pressing his lips against hers and closing the distance between them. Clara was surprised by the kiss, but it didn’t take long for her arm’s to find their way around Dean’s neck and pull him closer.

They stayed like that for a while what started as an innocent kiss turning into a passionate dance with their tongues. They finally broke away for air, both breathing heavily as Clara rested her forehead on Dean ’s. “You can stay for as long as you want Dean .” She said smiling at him as her hands moved to the back of his head and ran through his hair. “Just don’t murder me in my sleep, that’s not cool.” Clara joked, getting a humourless chuckle as Dean  pulled away. “Seriously, though, bring your stuff up and stay awhile. Sounds like we both could use someone to just sit down and watch a movie with.” She said, smiling a little at Dean . 

“I would like that,” Dean  said as he moved one of his hands from Clara’s waist to her face. A small sad smile spreading across his slightly blotchy face as they sat there, just watching each other for a while. “You want to watch the rest of the movies or is it really worth it at this point?” He asked, his thumb gently stroking her face with soft and caring touches as she just shook her head. “I guess I am going to go get my bags then,” Dean  said as he leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss as she moved off his lap and smiled at him. He still looked awful, but there was a hint of relief buried in those green depths. She could not help but smile at the little shred of hope that he would be okay, if there was hope for him then maybe there was still hope for her too. Maybe. 


	6. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean isn't the only one with ghosts haunting him. What happens when those ghosts refuse to let you forget them?

The soft clicking of computer keys was the only sound in the room as Dean sat in front of the computer desk Clara set up for him in the spare bedroom. If you asked him two weeks ago where he would be never in his wildest dreams would have thought it would be here. In a sort of relationship with a beautiful woman and looking for a job. Dean probably would have called you crazy just for suggesting it. Yet, here he was. Trying to figure out how to find a job when the only work that he had done all his life had been one that you cannot put on a resume. It had to be low key, nothing with the government since he was technically legally dead, but still on the FBI list. The sun was streaming through the window in his eyes by the time he finished the ‘resume’, which was rather empty. He was about to start looking for jobs when a loud scream filled the apartment, followed by Clara’s panicked voice.

Instinctively he grabbed for the gun tucked in the waistband of his sweatpants and rushed to the room, making as little noise as possible. Quickly rushing into the room with his gun drawn, only to see Clara struggling with something in her sleep. Begging as she thrashed in the bed. He put his gun back in his pants and knelt on the bed next to Clara. “Hey, babe it’s okay. Your dreaming.” Dean started but was cut off when her hand shot to his face and made deep scratches across the skin. “Son of a bitch.” He muttered, taking her hands and pinning them to the bed. “Clara, wake up!” Dean said loudly causing her to gasp loudly and open those beautiful eyes. It took a while before that almost feral look in her eyes faded and the ragged breathing slowed. When it did Dean slowly let go of Clara’s arms and smiled at her. “You okay.” He asked, smoothing a piece of hair off Clara’s forehead before moving to lay next to her on the bed, just waiting for the woman to take her time adjusting.

There was silence for a moment as Dean wrapped an arm around Clara, letting her calm down and curl up into his chest. “I thought the nightmares had stopped, guess I was wrong.” She said, her head buried into Dean’s chest, the feeling of the familiar damp feeling from tears seeping through his shirt. “I’m sorry, some support I am when I can’t even keep my dreams under control,” Clara said as she sighed and looked up at Dean, her eyes widening as they moving to his cheek. “Shit, was that me wasn't it? I’m so sorry.... I...I didn’t mean to...” She started, but Dean cut her off when he pressed a finger against those rosy lips.

“Hey, don’t worry about my face. I’ve had so much worse.” Dean said, trying to reassure Clara as he rubbed her back softly. “Also, I may add. We are both very messed up, but we are messed up together and that is what matters.” He explained, giving Clara a small smiled as she watched him. Her gaze making him a little self-conscious with its intensity. “You know, I’m not going to change channels if you look at me hard enough.” Dean said as he trailed his hand down to the small of her back and lightly stroked the skin. Trying to take her attention off of him for a while.

Clara laughed that beautiful laugh, it was like music to his ears. Music that he craved to hear more of. “I guess we can be messed up together then.” She said, reaching over and touching his face, lightly scratching at the midnight shadow on the cheek that was not injured. It was a simple touch, but it was one that had become such a comfort to him over the weeks with Clara. Something he had not had in a very long time. “Since I have today off, I say we should get out of the house.” Clara said a smile on her face. Putting on that happy face she always had, putting up those walls that he knew all too well about.

So Dean just smiled and pulled Clara close, letting her pretend to be happy for that moment. “What do you want to do?” Dean asked as he continued to watch Clara. Getting lost in the blue depths of those eyes, looking at all the colours and flecks floating around as they looked deep into his own. Just getting lost for a moment before he spoke again. “I vote to go have sex in the library again.” Dean suggested, breaking the eye contact that they had and moving his gaze down to her chest. Smirking when he looked back up at Clara and saw that she was shaking her head at him. He just watched Clara as his hand drifted down to her ass, lightly digging those strong fingers into the soft flesh, pressing their bodies flush together. Earning a gasp from her as she bit that plump lip, making him just want to take it in his teeth and pull on it. Clara stopped him with a hand on his chest, which she had never done before. Whatever was in that nightmare must have hit her hard to have her stop foreplay like this. Before he could ask Clara about the strange behaviour too much she spoke up.

“Dean, I have to say something. It might be a bad idea but I just need to say it.” Clara said, causing Dean to pull away a little. To say he was curious about what she had to say would be an understatement. Sure they spoke, but she never looked this nervous about a conversation. “It has been two weeks, but I care about you, a lot; and it scares me. The last person that I cared this much about died in front of me.” She explained, her eyes locked with his the entire time. The shine of unshed tears showing clearly in the dim lighting of the bedroom. “You don’t have to feel the same way, I wouldn’t expect that. It’s just... I wanted you to know that you have given me hope again.” Clara added, her hand moving away from Dean’s chest to his hair. Giving him this look that he had never been given, one of pure love and care, just raw unshielded emotion.

One of Dean’s hands moved from her back to the back of her head, pulling their lips together in a soft and sweet kiss. Showing her in his own way how much he cared about her, the fear of his own of losing the one ray of sunshine in the darkness. When he pulled away from those soft lips his eyes opened and met Clara’s again. “You know when I said that we are both messed up together, it meant that I am in this with you too right?” Dean asked as more of a statement, smiling at Clara as she shook her head and chuckled a little. It was not much to answer a completely opening of someone’s heart to you. He just did not know how to explain the feeling inside him for her. How she could make him smile even on the worse days, the way that smile of her's makes his heart flutter. Everything.

They never talked about what their relationship actually was, but they were there for each other, and right now she was what Dean needed. To be honest, he was probably just as scared of losing her as she was him. How was he supposed to explain that to her, though? Dean just looked into her eyes and saw the smile on her face fading as she looked away from him. Knowing that he had to at least try to tell her her feelings were not one sided. “Look, I’m not exactly good with sharing my feelings, but I care about you too. More than I probably should. You took me in when I was at rock bottom and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. Even though you won’t let me drink.” He explained, moving Clara’s head so she was looking him in the eyes again. “I’m just as scared as you are if not more of losing you.” Dean added, taking his thumb and wiping the tear streaking down her face away.

“Do you want to go out for breakfast?” Clara asked, taking Dean by surprise a little from the sudden change in the topic. Considering the topic that it was changed from it seemed rather random. Not to mention they have gone out to eat several times before, he was not really sure why she was asking now about it. Almost as if Clara read his mind she spoke again. “Like an actual date. We can laugh, forget about how damaged we are for a while. It can be our first real date.” She explained, to him, a grin spreading across her face. Dean just watched Clara for a moment and thought about the fact that they had never actually been on a real date before. There was something about the thought of going on a real date that made his stomach flutter with butterflies. A feeling that Dean had not had about a girl for a very long time.

Dean quickly found himself grinning as he pulled Clara’s face close and kissed her again. “I would love to go on a date with you babe.” He answered, chuckling a little as she rubbed their noses together. One of his hands moving to those tangled blonde locks of hair, just playing with the strands. “I do have to say though that we kind of took things backwards in this relationship.” Dean added getting a chuckle from Clara as she pulled away and put that hand back on his chest, rubbing soft circles on the skin. Everything seeming to just slow down at that moment and a calm fall over the room. Clara now completely relaxed in his arms, making a soft noise similar to a purr when he scratched at her scalp. Just enjoying the fact that he was the reason someone was so calm for the moment.

“Just wait till you see what we are doing after breakfast.” Clara said, catching Dean’s interest almost instantly. There was already so much that he was doing right now that was outside of his comfort zone that doing even more obviously was a source of unease. It could literally be anything with Clara, she tended to just act on the most bazaar impulses. Even talking him into having dinner on the roof the other night so they could see the stars. While it might be unsettling going so far out of his comfort zone, the fact that she pushed him to do it was one of the things that he valued the most about her. She kept him on his toes just trying to keep up. “Get dressed we need to get going to make sure we have daylight.” Clara said, snapping him out of his thoughts as she got up off the bed.

His eyes following her as she moved to the closet, wearing nothing but one of his flannel’s. It looked better on her than it ever did on him, as always. The way it hung over her body, hiding very little with the front open. Knowing that it was his shirt she was wearing that he was the reason for her lack of clothing. It was enough to have him wanting to pounce on Clara right then and there, yet alone that swinging her hips were doing while she slipped the shirt off slowly. Dean got off of the bed and wrapped his arms around Clara’s waist from behind, pressing against her. “You putting on a show for me?” He asked his mouth next to her ear. Smirking when he felt her lean against him. “You want to know what your shows do to me?” Dean asked again, moving a hand down between her legs. Slowly slipping his fingers inside her folds. Frowning when she turned around and pulled his hand up to hers.

That is when it hit him how shaken she must be right now if she is willing going to deny herself sex. Suddenly Clara practically pounced on him, crushing their lips together in a bruising kiss. A soft groan leaving his lips as he felt her hand squeezing him through the sweat pants. Before he could react she had pulled away and was walking towards the closet. “Let’s see how our date goes first.” Clara said as she laughed and turned her back to Dean, who was standing there trying to figure out what just happened. The last thing that he wanted to do was wait till after they ate, especially with his issue going on in the sweatpants. He watched as she bent down and gave him a perfect view of her ass.

“I think there is something else I want to eat right now.” Dean said his voice low and husky as he walked up to Clara and pressed her flush against the wall, grinding against into that firm ass. “You going to turn down me eating you out right now? I think you deserve that after all you went through this morning.” He said, trying his best to convince her, eager to see her panting with that arched back. Hear those cries as she peaked, taste every part of her. “Let me show you how good you make me feel.” Dean said as he spun her around only to have her smirk and give him a look. “Fine, but I’m going to make you scream when I get my hands on you.” He threatened as more of a promise and let her go and get dressed. Going to the bathroom to take a very cold shower.


	7. Flawed Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara and Dean go seek a distraction, and they find a wild one. Can you ever truly be distracted for long though?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned there is a NSFW moment in here.

The gravel crunched under the tires of the beetle as Clara pulled up to her surprise. Look over at Dean and grinning as he sat there with wide eyes, looking out at the large cliff at the end of hiking trail by the road stop. “You know, distractions don’t necessarily mean suicide right?” Dean asked, clearing his throat and looking over at her with a calm look in his eyes again, putting that wall up between her and his emotions again. Honestly, Clara was not really expecting Dean to go along with the plan past the breakfast so she was already impressed. “This is heavy duty crazy.” He said, watching her and sighing softly. “Who jumps off a cliff for fun?” Dean asked, shock and curiosity in the tone of his voice giving away what those green eyes would not. It was insane, Clara knew that. No one in their right mind jumps off of cliffs. It was something new, though, and she had only done it drunk before this. 

“Look, I will completely understand if you don’t want to go through with it. It’s just such a thrill and I want to know what it is like when you aren’t dull from alcohol.” Clara said softly as she put a hand on Dean’s shoulder and gave him a small smile. “I do have to say though, you will kind of look like a pussy.” She teased, biting her lip a little and smirking when his eyes narrowed. Just like that she knew that he was up for the challenge. No man in their right man would stand there and look like a pussy on purpose. Especially someone like Dean. Not to mention if he really did not want to do this they would have already turned around when she suggested it and been back at the apartment screwing each others brains out. 

They sat there for a moment before Clara patted Dean’s leg and hopped out of the car. Pulling off her shirt and tossing it in the back with her shorts. "This is a bad idea." Dean said from the other side of the car as he got out. Clara just grinned at him as he started stripping down and walked over to the edge of the cliff. Watching Dean for a moment, just admiring the view of him in nothing but his swim trunks before walking over to the edge of the cliff. It had been so long since she had gone cliff diving that it felt like the first time all over again, complete with the butterflies and racing heart. The more her eyes gazed down at the distance to the water the more she questioned what was about to happen. 

Now, at this point, any logical person would be walking away from the edge of the cliff and getting back in the car. Clara, however, worked on a different set of logic than others, she just took Dean's hand when he walked up next to her and looked over at him. Just sharing a look for a moment, slowly leaning in and pressing her lips against Dean’s in a lingering kiss. She smiled against Dean’s lips as he squeezed her hand and moved closer. Before he could get too close Clara dropped his hand and ran off the edge of the cliff. Squinting as the wind whipped past her head, the icy water inching closer very quickly; barely having time to take a breath before being surrounded by the water below. The icy temperature taking her breath away as she looked around the water. Watching the fish swimming above for a moment, before following the air bubbles to the surface. A loud gasp left her mouth as she reached the surface and hit the warm air. It felt like every nerve was on overdrive. It was enough to send any worries out of her mind. All she could focus on was the racing of her heart and the amount of energy in her right now.

Moments later the sound of a loud splash brought her out of the little world that she had escaped inside of. Clara was impressed, to say the least. There was no way that she actually expected him to go through and jump off with her into the water. It was... well it was insane. It was not long before the sound of gasping came from behind her and she spun around. Looking at Dean who had a wide grin on his face as he tread water next to her. “Wow, that was insane.” He said, chuckling a little as his eyes stayed on Clara, making her flush a little. Maybe that was the cold water, though. Either way, they could not just stay here in the water for long or they both would freeze. Clara nodded her head towards the shore and smirked. “Race you there.” Dean said, before taking off without warning, leaving Clara to struggle to catch up. 

“You cheated!” Clara said loudly as they made it to the shore and slowly walked out of the water. Shivering a little at the cold breeze that made it feel so much closer than earlier. She moved close to Dean as he stood on the beach and watched her with an amused look on his face. “Well, even though you are a cheat. I will give you credit for actually jumping like that. I wasn’t expecting you to actually jump.” She added, standing in front of the man taking her hair and wringing the water out. “Judging by that grin on your face after you jumped you didn’t exactly regret your decision either.” Clara said before Dean could even respond to her earlier comments. Giving Dean a once over, watching him rub his hands together and moved closer to her. Slowly wrapping those strong arms around Clara and pulling her into his surprisingly warm skin.  

Her hands rested on Dean’s chest as she leaned close to him and looked into his eyes. “You know, you could always punish me for being such a cheat. After I follow through on that promise, though.” Dean said as he smirked down at Clara with that look in his eyes which caused her heart to race. “So we are pretty much in the middle of nowhere aren’t we?” He said, leaning forward and pressing their lips together. The moment those warm full lips hit hers she could not find it in her to care about who might see. If anything the fact that anyone could see was a turn on. “I’m going to take this as a yes.” He said, his tone still making it clear that she could stop it at any time. Stopping was the last thing on Clara’s mind when those lips started trailing kisses to her neck. All thought period leaving when teeth pressed against that soft spot on her neck followed by soft sucking. 

A soft moan left Clara’s mouth as she held onto Dean’s neck tightly and held him close to her. Squeaking when he squeezed her ass and pulled his head away. They both looked at each other for a moment while Clara caught her breath and smiled dopily at him. “Let’s get back to the car. You can show me what happens to teases.” She said, smirking a little bit and watching Dean, the thought of being dominated by the man in front of her making her body flush. Clara just took his hand in hers and smiled again as they made their way back up the cliff. The occasional rock jabbing into her foot causing sharp pains as she hopped to the top of the cliff. “I don’t think that I thought this through all the way.” Clara said as she rushed onto the grass at the top of the path, laughing a little as Dean made a pained face and walked over to her. 

“It’s not nice to laugh at others pain.” Dean said as he stood in front of her and backed her up against the hood of the car as soon as they got near it. “You’re something else.” He said, leaning down and kissing her softly. The kiss started out sweet and soft but quickly grew heated as Clara wrapped her legs around him. Slowly, Clara pulled him down and leaned back till her back was against the cold metal of the hood. “You ready to scream baby girl.” Dean asked, his deep voice going straight to the heat between her legs, the strings on her bikini bottoms slowly coming loose, the fabric quickly falling to the gravel. She did not get a chance to respond before Dean was spreading her legs further apart; looking Clara straight in the eyes as his fingers slipped inside her folds. Dean made a groaning noise as his fingers started circling her clit sending a jolt through her body. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me.” He said in Clara’s ear as an involuntary moan left her lips.

Her eyes closed as Dean moved down her body his fingers working all the right spots. Suddenly she felt his fingers filling her, stretching the tight muscles. “Oh God.” Clara moaned as she tossed her head back on the cold metal of the car. Barely noticing her legs being moved onto Dean’s shoulders till his fingers stopped moving. She lifted her head and looked at Dean only to see his head nestled between her legs. A loud moan left Clara’s mouth as she felt his mouth latch onto her clit and suck, those fingers pumping hard and fast. Her hips rocking against his mouth as she cried out and panted heavily. Crying Dean’s name like a chant as he continued to work her. Then his fingers hit that spot and Clara’s back arched off the car, crying out loudly; her hands gripping the metal of the hood tightly. “Fuck, Dean, Right there.” She panted loudly, crying out over and over as he pumped faster, his tongue flicking back and forth. One loud cry came out of Clara’s mouth as she felt everything climax and everything just went into overdrive. Leaving her a gasping, panting mess as she started coming down from her high, Dean’s movements slowly bringing those overactive nerves down. 

There was a silence as Dean moved back up, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm. She could not stop the small grin from spreading across her face as Dean hovered above. “Told you I would make you scream.” He said, giving her that smirk with a promise of much more inside it. All she could do was lay there underneath him right now and catch her breath. “I still have to punish you.” Dean said, leaning forward so that the heat from his breath fanned over Clara’s face. Making her more than thankful that Dean had not had the extra onions with his grits today. She just watched him as he leaned forward and quickly pressed their lips together. It was a deep and passionate kiss, tongues tangling together in their own dance. The taste of herself mixed with Dean causing her to groan as she was pressed closer to the metal of the hood by strong hands on her waist. “Now to show you what happens to a tease.” He said, his voice low and deep.

There was a rustling of fabric when the sound of a siren caused them both to jump. “Shit, shit, shit.” Clara said as Dean pushed away and grabbed the bikini bottom for her. She barely had time to put the thing back on before the officer was walking up to the car. Figures that they would get caught in the middle of nowhere. If Clara could do it all over again, though, honestly she would not change a thing. That was... well she really needed that. Then she saw who the officer was and the overwhelming dread filled her body. “Officer Jackson, are the cops doing roadside assistance now?” Clara asked as she walked over to the other side of the car and grabbed the towels. Tossing one to Dean who was still standing at the front of the car. 

There was a short silence before the officer spoke up, looking between Clara and Dean as she walked back to his side. “Very funny, I had reports of someone jumping off cliffs actually. I don’t suppose you would know anything about that would you?” Officer Jackson asked as he crossed his arms and gave Dean a once over. His eyes full of judgement and almost amusement if Clara did not know better. The officer turned his gaze back to Clara, who knew exactly what was coming next, the judgement and ridicule. Like the reality that she lived in was not punishment enough. “I see you wasted no time in moving on did you?” He asked as more of a statement. His words no less than what was expected.

Expected or not, the words hurt worse than any insult. After everything that Clara had been through this was what she dreaded the most. Judgement. People putting their images of how you should be grieving onto her. Officer Jackson had been one of the cruelest people with his judgement, though. “I don’t see how my love life is any of your business.” Clara snapped as she turned her back to him and walked over to the passenger's door. Trying to contain her swirling emotions inside. Determined to not let him win and see an emotional response. “Don’t you have better things to do than come and harass people at the beach?” She asked, her back to the officer still, unable to look at him and contain her emotions. 

She could feel eyes on the back of her head all the same as the sound of Officer Jackson’s humorless laugh filled the air. Honestly, right now Clara just wanted nothing more than to forget about everything. It was the whole reason that they were even there at the cliff. Instead, there is this ugly reminder of what happened, in the package of the “authority figure”. “No need to get hostile, just stating a fact. Try not to catch anything, sir.” Officer Jackson said, causing Clara to spin around. By the time she opened her mouth he was already closing the door of his car. Instead, she voted on taking a deep breath when the officer pulled away, just thankful that whole thing was over at the moment. 

“What a dick.” Dean said from behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it a little. Obviously picking up on her emotional turmoil. There was this overwhelming guilt inside her for being with someone right now. After everything that happened in the past year, it was nice to just have someone to hold you after a horrible dream again. To not feel utterly alone in the world despite being surrounded by people. “You okay?” Dean asked, his voice bringing her out of the self-destructive thoughts swirling around in her head right now. His fingers tracing up her side providing a welcome distraction. 

Clara just sighed softly and smiled a little at Dean. Leaning up and slowly pressing her lips against his in a quick kiss. “I’m good. Officer douchebag was my... well he was my old fiancé's father, and he never really approved of me. Why would things change now?” She asked as more of a statement. Running her hands up Dean’s chest and sighing. The warm smooth flesh reminding Clara of what was in front of her right now in this moment. What reality really was right now. “Well, I managed to forget about everything for a little while. Maybe we need to jump again.” Clara said as she chuckled a little and looked up at Dean’s face. The one which told her what words could not, and would most like not even try to say. There was no way he was going off that cliff again. 

Sure enough, when Dean spoke again, her assumption proved true. “Let’s not and say we did. I have a better idea for getting your mind off of everything.” Dean said, turning Clara around so she was facing him. A smirk spreading across his face as he pulled her flush against him. She could feel every part of him as he backed her against the side of the car. Groans leaving both of their mouths as Dean rocked his hips, creating friction in the most sensitive areas. Clara wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Just kissing Dean deeply for a moment before sighing softly and pulling back a little.  Causing Dean to break the kiss and look at Clara for a moment, his face carefully guarded to show no emotion. 

Her eyes looked into his and she gave him a small smile. “It’s not you, I swear. I just don’t want anyone else to come here and basically, call me a whore.” Clara said as she shook her head and sighed. “The only reason I didn’t walk over there and punch him in that smug face was that I can’t afford to get assaulting an officer on my record again. No matter how well deserved it was.” She added, her fingers moving to his face and lightly scratching at the stubble. 

They stood there for a moment before a strong breeze caused a shiver to run through her body. “We should probably get dressed and dried off before it gets too cold.” Dean suggested, a warmth spreading through her when he moved one of his hands and tucked a piece of hair that had fallen in her face out of the way. She just looked up and him and smiled as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. The kind gesture making her heart swell. “Let’s roll.” He said, pulling away from Clara and walking over to the driver’s side of the car, leaving this cold feeling on her skin in his absence. 

It was strange, Dean had not been around that long but there was something about him that just made her feel like she could eventually be normal again. Clara honestly was happier than she had been in a long time in the short amount of time Dean has been there. Yet she could not escape the reminders of the past, and the blood that was on her hands.  “Thank you, for everything.” Clara said as she looked over at Dean and smiled at him when he looked over at her, confusion all over his face. “You have just been so great to me. Having you with me has been one of the riskiest, yet best decisions that I have ever made.” She said, chuckling a little and watching him for a moment while she got into the car. “I even let you drive my car, and no one has ever done that.” Clara added as she smirked at him and scooted over in the seat to rest her head on his shoulder. 

“Well, I’m honoured.” Dean said, chuckling that deep chuckle that came straight from his chest, feeling almost as if it was vibrating the air around them with its depth. There was something strong yet light about it, making her smile every time. “Honestly, it is weird to have you thanking me after everything that you have done for me.” He said, smiling brightly when she looked over at him and smiled a smile of her own. “That smile alone has helped me through some very hard times.” Dean added as his big hand moving to her face, slowly pulling their faces together into a soft kiss. The kiss quickly turned into a heated one as Clara wrapped her arms around Dean’s neck and pulled him closer. Both of them just sitting there and exploring each other’s mouths until air was needed in the deprived lungs. 

When they pulled away Clara could not help the lazy smirk on her kiss-swollen lips. The sight of that telltale flush in Dean’s cheek and the dark colour of his eyes was enough to make her smirk grow wider. She just enjoyed the feeling of success as Dean looked over at her and shook his head. “You know I’m going to punish you still. Maybe even a spanking at this rate.” He commented, causing her to laugh as Dean started the car. When Clara glanced out the window at the tree line she frowned as a black figure appeared behind the thick shrubs and bare trees. That feeling that she got weeks ago at the store came back to her in full force. Whatever was out there was not good, she could tell that much from just looking at the dark figure. She must have been looking for a while because the sound of Dean’s voice cutting the silence actually made her jump. “What is wrong?” Dean asked as he took her hand in his and squeezed it. 

She just shook her hand and looked over at Dean for a moment before looking over at the tree line again and seeing that the figure was gone. “Nothing, probably just an animal or something.” Clara said as she shook her head and looked at Dean, still feeling a little uneasy about the whole thing right now. There was this feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her the guarded look on Dean’s face was a bad sign. She did not have it in her to actually ask, though, there was enough going on right now without adding some stalker to it. “You know, I think that I have something that might help you punish me really well. Two words; handcuffs and a blindfold.” She said, laughing when Dean’s eyes lit up like a child in a candy store. There was still a hint of worry in his eyes, but that damn smirk was enough to set the worry in her brain aside for the moment and replace it with those butterflies in her stomach. “Let’s roll.” Clara said, looking over at Dean and he went tearing out of the little turn around and sped over to the road. 


	8. First Day's Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally has the normal life that he had always wanted. Will his past start to come into his new found sanctuary and take it away?

It felt like it was high school all over again and Dean was talking to the hot cheerleader for the first time. Those damn nerves and worry about what could go wrong. It was his first day at this job he managed to get in a local Ma and Pa shop, they were so impressed with how he cared for Baby and the work he did that they hired him on the spot. You would think the fact that they were that impressed with Dean would give him the confidence that he needed to walk in those bay doors with a bounce to his step. Yet here he was, looking at the shop through the window of the drivers side door. It had been so long since he had worked an actual paying job that he honestly did not know how this was going to end up. How bad could fixing cars really be, though, if he knows his stuff that should be all that matters? If he could clean out a vampire's nest on his own then fixing cars should be a breeze for him. Following that thought, Dean finally got out of the car and walked across the parking lot to the yellow swinging door next to the large garage bay doors. “Hey Alma, how’s agoing?” Dean asked as he walked up to the counter and looked over at the clock to see that he was still five minutes early for his shift. 

Dean watched Alma as she smiled brightly and leaned forward, giving him such a warm and friendly look that he felt the nerves easing in his stomach. “Better now that I get to see such a handsome face in the morning.” She said, her smile turning into a smirk as her head rested in her hands. A chuckle left Dean’s mouth as he looked at Alma and shook his head at her smirk. There was something about Alma that reminded Dean of what he imagined his mother would be like as a grandmother. Complete with the baked goods that the woman stored behind the counter for whoever she felt worthy of tasting her cooking. “Try one of these brownies, I made them with a new recipe and not to toot my own horn, but it is delicious.” Alma said as she opened a large Tupperware container and putting it on the counter for him. “I’m ninety percent sure that they aren’t the special one’s.” She added, causing Dean to raise an eyebrow as the woman started laughing, motioning for him to take one. 

Sure enough, when he tried the brownie it was damn good, probably the best one that Dean had ever tasted. Before Dean realized it a soft groan had left his chest and he practically inhaled the heavenly piece of gooey chocolate. Dean looked over at Alma and smiled at the smirk on her face as she watched him. “You’re right, those are delicious.” He said, chuckling at the smirk on the woman’s face as she crossed her arms. “It’s like you are trying to make me fat Alma.” Dean said as he took another brownie when she slid the container closer to him. Taking a bite and closing his eyes to just enjoy the taste of the slice of chocolate heaven. Dean opened his eyes when he heard the door to the shop open and the heavy sound of footsteps walking towards him. 

“I see Alma has decided that you are too skinny.” A man said to him, he instantly recognized the voice as belonging to the heavy set man that Alma’s called a husband, Ricky; otherwise known as the co-owner of the shop with Alma. The man laughed at Dean when he finished the rest of the brownie in his hands and shrugged. “Careful, she will make you nice and thick if you aren’t careful son.” The man added as he walked over to Dean and handed him a set of coveralls. “You will need those, and you can bring your tools into your area of the shop. Let’s see what you got there kid.” He explained, smiling at Dean with a toothy grin, his thick white beard wiggling a little as his whole body moved with the chuckles. 

Dean said thanks to the woman, giving her a wave before heading off, grabbing the large toolkit. The kit which had significantly more weight to it after Clara was done with her shopping with him. This was his chance for a normal life, though, and he was going to do everything that he could to take full advantage of it. So he went into the shop and showed Ricky what he had. Going through each of the obvious tests that Ricky had set out for him. Some simple like fixing a leak in the tire of this old pickup truck that honestly had bigger problems than the tires. Then the other part of the day was spent repairing a transmission leak. He was finally done with the transmission when Ricky came up to him and grabbed his shoulder. “You’re a keeper kid. Why don’t you go wash up and I can finish up here.” Max said as he smiled at Dean and stood next to him. 

Dean smiled and wiped his hands off on the old rag from his back pocket. So far this whole normal life thing was turning out pretty well. His job was going great so far, granted it was his first day, but he left an impression. Now he had a beautiful girlfriend to go back home to. No monsters waiting to kill him, no strange deaths to research, just work and his girl. Deep down all he had wanted was to have a normal life, get out and make a life for himself. Now his wish had become reality you think he would be happy beyond belief now. Yet, Dean still felt like there was this whole inside him like he was missing a part of himself. The part that had the puppy dog look perfected, always wanted to talk about problems; the shaggy-haired Samsquatch. It had been close to six months now, and the nightmares had gone away, but the pain of everything was still there. Like a wound that started healing then got infected. This was a day to be happy, though, and he intended to celebrate his good day in the best way. 

A smile spread across Dean’s face as he pulled up to the house and saw Clara’s face poke out from behind the curtains in the living room window. All the emptiness inside him seeming to disappear for a moment with that beautiful smile on her face. Dean pulled into the garage and quickly entered the house, walking into the living room and seeing the many boxes left to unpack. “Hey, baby. How was work?” Clara asked as she walked in from the other room and practically pounced on him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. That smile on her face was just full of such happiness that he could not help but smile at the thought of such happiness being because of him.  

“It was actually really great. I think that I passed all of his tests. I’m to quote Ricky, ‘a keeper’.” Dean explained as he smiled at Clara and wrapped his arms around her waist. Placing kisses on the soft skin of her neck, earning a soft sigh. “You get a lot of unpacking done?” He asked, lifted his head and moving back so he could see Clara’s face properly, noticing the bags under her eyes. It was obvious that she was having a hard time with something. They just moved to the new house a couple of days ago so there was some adjusting to do now. So it was understandable that she would be off, but he could sense something was wrong with her. He had been trying to get her to tell him what was wrong, why she would rush home or call him just to try and calm down in the middle of her shifts. It was all starting to worry him, to be honest. If anyone knew what it was like to be struggling on the edge of a breakdown, or in the middle of one, well it was him.  

Clara frowned and stroked his face lightly. “Stop giving me that look, Dean, you know I hate it when you worry about me.” She said, causing him to shake his head. It almost bothered him that she could read his face like that. After everything that he did to try and keep those emotions behind a wall to have someone weasel their way into that wall... well it was unnerving. In a way, it was also a relief not to have to be alright and strong all the time someone. Clara has literally seen him at his worse and is still here. Yet, he still felt like he needed to be strong for her, and be a rock to hold onto. So he just shook his head and watched Clara. “I’m just having a hard time lately, I think my marbles have finally spilled.” She explained, looking away from him at his chest. 

The fact that she looked away from him at all told him that she was upset. Keeping eye contact was kind of her thing. Feeling like those deep blues were looking into your soul had become something that still made him uneasy. Dean ran a hand through Clara’s hair and sighed as she put her head on his chest. “Does this mean you are finally going to tell me what is wrong?” Dean asked as he lightly massaged at the knots in the muscles on the top of her head, earning a light groan. “I’ll keep going if you talk to me.” He offered moving his hand and backing her up past the boxes onto the couch so that he was seated with Clara’s head in his lap. “Talk to me.” Dean said as he started working his fingers into her scalp. 

“I’m seeing things, have been for a while. I get these strange feelings like someone is watching me and see this figure watching me in the distance. It is clearly a person, just too dark for me to ever see. More importantly, my boss has changed into a complete dick and watches me all the time for no reason, and I swear her eyes turned black the other day for the second time.” She explained, clearly needing to get everything out the way everything just exploded at once. “I’m going crazy.” Clara added as she sighed and looked up at Dean. “After everything that has happened... I finally broke I guess.” She added as Dean trying to keep his movements as natural as possible. It might have been a while since he hunted, but he still knew when something was not right. Everything she was saying screamed demons, and the thought of a demon being near Clara was enough to get his heart racing.  

He looked down at Clara and debated telling her that she might be in real danger. Then Dean thought about the last time that he told someone the truth, how she kicked him out of the house and called him crazy. The thought of losing Clara like that was almost too much to handle, but losing her to some monster because he was to scared to do his job would be even worse. So he did the next best thing. “I got something that will help.” Dean said as he got up, slowly moving Clara, who whined a little when his hands pulled out of her hair. There was one thing that Dean knew would keep Clara safe while he figured this out without her catching on. It took some digging before he found the pendant in his bag of emergency supplies. When he got back out into the living room he saw Clara still laying on the couch with her head back on the pillows. “I have something that will keep you safe.” He said, going back to his spot by Clara as she sat up and looked at him. “It will keep anything from getting inside you.” Dean explained, causing Clara to raise an eyebrow.

“Really? Never took you as the superstitious type.” Clara said as she turned around and moved her long blonde hair to the side to let him put it on. Oh if she only knew the truth about his ‘superstitious’ nature. Dean almost felt guilty about keeping the majority of who he is a secret from her, but there was not real other option with the situation. What she said next caught him off guard, though. “Does this mean you think it’s a demon?” She asked causing him to fumble a little with the clasp of the necklace. “My mom was a devote Catholic Dean, I know what a Saint Benedict’s medal is for. Well at least most commonly used for. Not saying I really believe in that stuff, but my mother did.” Clara explained as she turned around and looked at Dean, curiosity all over her face.

Superstitious was never a term that Dean would have used to describe himself. It was more just being aware of how many of the old superstitions are in fact based in truth. To the average person that does not know about all that is out there would probably see all of that as superstitious, to be honest. Yet he would not think twice about breaking a mirror, or taking showers in thunderstorms. Although with the amount of mirrors that he has broken and the bad luck that seems to follow him around like a dark cloud, it would make sense. So he answered her in the only way he could think of. “My dad taught my brother and me about all of that stuff that you would think of as superstitions. It will not hurt to wear it, though, it is more the thought.” Dean said, toeing the line between lying to her and not telling her the whole reason behind giving her the necklace.

Clara just smiled at him and shook her head. “It is okay for you to believe in monsters and all of that stuff.” She said, shifting over and settling herself between his legs. The smell of her surrounded him; it was not overpowering it was just Clara. The clean smell of Clara’s shampoo mixed with the smell that was uniquely her; like the warmth on a sunny day and the comfort of having her wrapped in his arms in one beautiful smell. His arms wrapped around Clara and pulled her close to him, trying to calm his mind from the terrifying thoughts of something tearing apart the one piece of happiness that he had found. “What is going on in that head of yours? I can tell that something is bothering you.” Clara explained as her hand touched his face with those feather soft touches.

If he told her the mess that was going on in his mind right now there was no telling what she would do. So he just told her another half-truth that he had been so good at telling her by now. “I'm just worried that there is some creep out there stalking you,” Dean answered her, feeling the guilt starting to weigh on him from everything. The topic needed to be changed, he needed some kind of distraction. Clara beat him to the much-needed distraction though by moving forward and wrapping her arms around his neck, quickly pulling him in for a deep kiss. The feeling of her tongue against his was enough to take any thoughts that might have been on his mind away and into the wind. Nothing but the tangling of their tongues, battling for control of the kiss... that was all that mattered right now.

Dean’s hands started roaming up Clara’s shirt when she pulled away and got up off the couch. Before he could ask anything she just smirked at him and slowly pulled up her shirt, tossing it to the side to reveal a deep blue bra with delicate floral designs in the thin lace fabric covering her full breasts. “Your favorite color.” Clara said as she slowly started pulling down her tight shorts and showing her matching Brazilian underwear. “It’s a surprise for your first day at work.” She said, grinning at Dean who was just sitting there watching her. Everything about her was perfect from the way that the lace hugged her curves in all the right spots or the contrast of the dark color of the blue on that pale skin. It was enough  to make him want to pounce on her right there, and that is exactly what he did. 

Quickly Dean stood up and practically crushed their bodies together pulling Clara flush against him and kissing her deeply. Showing to her how he felt in ways he could not with words, all the gratefulness, the need, love; everything he could master up. His hands ran up Clara’s sides moving to the front of her chest and slowly putting his hands over her breasts. Pulling his mouth away from hers to look down and take in her cleavage that the bra accentuated. “So beautiful,” Dean said softly his thumbs rubbing against her nipples, through the thin lace fabric. The small buds hardening under his touch, followed by soft moans slipping out of Clara’s mouth as her arms wrapped around his neck. He was going to worship this woman, make her feel the way she made him feel. Like there was no one more important than her in the world. Slowly he moved his hands to her legs and lifted her up. “Time to take that off.” He said, keeping his voice low and deep as his eyes locked with hers. “It’s my turn to play with the handcuffs and toys tonight.” Dean said as he smirked as carried her to the bedroom. 


	9. Max?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when everything becomes too much. Has Clara finally lost her mind or has Dean's old life caught up with both of them?

Clara sighed as she sat by the window watching the rain fall outside the window panes. There was a big storm that passed through town about halfway through her shift so the bar had been pretty dead. Mostly just a few of the regulars and some of the people just looking for a place to stop to wait out the storm for a while. Normally the silence would not be a big deal, she could just talk with the other girls or chat with the few customers. Today was different, though. Her mind was on other things; like the fading facade of sanity that she put up for the world to see. Suddenly the room got very cold, so cold that Clara could swear she saw her breath for a moment. She looked around and noticed that other people were pulling their coats a little closer to them. Must have started snowing or something. When she looked out the window to check what greeted her shocked her more than any weather could have. The dark brown eyes, that red hair... it was Max, but he had cuts all over his face and blood everywhere, like he just stepped out of the crash. 

On pure instinct, Clara jumped out of her seat and rushed outside the front door to try and catch him. Running out into the rain and feeling her clothing clinging to her in moments. When she got to the window though there was nothing. He was there, though... less than a minute ago. She looked around and saw no sign of anyone being there beside her. Things seemed to be spiraling right now and all she wanted was to be at home and sitting curled up to Dean on the couch. Safe in those warm strong arms of his, knowing that nothing was going to hurt her for that brief moment of time. Clara did not even know if Dean could make this better right now, though. Everything just felt wrong right now, like there was something bad about to happen. Then again, her sanity was slowly fading to the point where she was now seeing dead people outside watching her. So, of course, she would be feeling weird feelings too. It was only natural at this point.   
When Clara walked back into the building a very flustered looking Lexi greeted her. Lexi was the closest thing to a friend that Clara had, and she could practically feel the concern radiating off of the woman. Immediately Lexi pulled Clara inside and ushered her to the back of the bar. “Look I don’t know what that was all about, but you scared the crap out of us.” Lexi said as she sat Clara down on the bench in the staff room and tossed a towel at her. “Get your head on straight and we can talk after work.” She added, rubbing Clara’s shoulder as she just stared at the wall, trying to wrap her head around what just happened. She did not spook easy, but right now... well Clara did not know whether to be scared of what she just saw or that her mind hand finally turned to a pile of goo. There was one person that she could talk to that would not institutionalize her before the end of the explanation, and he happened to be on speed dial. 

Clara’s hands fumbled a little bit with her lock as she went to the locker to change and get her phone. The moment she got her phone it was against her ear and ringing in her ear. The very frayed nerves in Clara’s whole body seeming to calm when that deep gravelly voice greeting her on the other end of the line. “Hey baby, I... well you know I don’t really believe in that supernatural stuff. Now, say for a moment, just a moment, that I happened to think that I saw a ghost. What do I do to stop it from hurting me?” She asked, somehow knowing that he would believe her and have an idea of how to keep anything from happening to her. If she was not going insane and there really was a ghost after her then there was no way to defend herself right now. 

“I’m going to pick you up and we can figure this out together. I’m not saying that there is anything after you, but get some salt and make a circle around you. Don’t come out till I get there.” Dean said firmly, his tone completely changing from the soft tone he had answering the phone moments earlier. Which told her one thing for sure. Something was going on, and it was bad enough for Dean to be in a protective mode right now. Before she could ask any of the many questions floating around in her head, mostly about the salt, Dean started speaking again. “I know it sounds weird, but you asked for my help and this is me giving it to you.” He said, causing her to frown and nod like the man could actually see anything that she was doing right now. “Where are you?” Dean asked, the telltale rumble of the impala’s engine coming from the background.   
Before Clara could answer she heard the sound of Lexi screaming from outside the door. “I’m going to lock myself in the bathroom because something is happening out there and I have a really bad feeling about it.” Clara said quickly, trying not to panic in the rush to get to the bathroom in the corner of the room before something busted in and killed her. She had her hand on the door handle when something came crashing through the door. The sound of Dean talking registered to her, but all of her attention was the body of Lexi in the middle of the floor; neck bent at an unnatural angle and blood seeping through the fabric on her chest. “Lexi...” She said, her voice cracking as the realization that her friend was dead set in.   
“Clara, you have to listen to me, go to your locker and get the gun I gave you. It should at least slow them down till I can get to you.” Dean said, his voice giving away the panic that he was feeling. The thought of shooting someone or something to slow them down terrified her. There was no way she could shoot someone, her hands were shaking just thinking about it. Whatever was happening... she was terrified of it. Things were bad right now, but they were starting to get better. Her life was starting to fall together. Now it was all going to end as fast as it started coming together. “Get the gun and try to find a way out without being noticed.” Dean added from the other end of the phone, the panic in his voice gone and replaced with a calm comforting tone. She allowed herself to be calmed for a moment before a voice broke her calm almost instantly.

It took her a moment to register what the voice was saying but when she realized that it was her name being yelled every muscle in her body froze. There was no sneaking out of this one, no way to get out, no running. They came for her, God knows why, but it was clear that they were here for nothing good. Clara bit her lip as she quickly grabbed the gun from her locker and pointed it at the door, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder. “Dean... I don’t know what to do, they are calling my name.” Clara said as her hands shook a little as a sudden cold washed over the room. The sound of Dean’s voice on the other end was muffled as it started cutting out. “Dean... I can’t hear you.” She said softly, her heart racing as the line went dead. That’s it. There was no one to help her now. 

Suddenly the doors burst open and Isobella came walking through the door. “Did you honestly think that I would not find you in here.” She said, her voice holding hatred like Clara had never heard before. The gun shook in her hand as Isobella’s eyes turned black and her hand lifted up. A sudden force hit her in the chest so hard that Clara was sent flying back into the air and slammed hard into the lockers. All the air leaving Clara’s lungs on impact with the lockers, a metallic taste filling her mouth as she laid there with Isobella walking closer. Everything seemed to be happening at once, it was all too much to handle. All that she wanted to do was either die right now already or have Dean bust through those doors and try to stop this. 

A familiar voice filled the air causing her eyes to fill  with tears. “Max...” She whispered softly letting out a breath of air, only to see her breath linger in the air. “What’s going on?” Clara asked as she saw Isobella stop and look around. “Look whatever you want I will give it to you. Just tell me what’s going on.” Clara said, practically begging as she slowly picked herself off the floor feeling shooting pain in her back. This was all insane, it cannot be real, just a vivid crazy dream, right? There was no way any of this was happening, it was just too insane. The only explanation was that she had finally lost her mind, that had to be it. None of this was real. Despite the white-hot pain in her back right now. When Clara saw Isobella walking towards her quickly, she just curled up with her legs close just waiting for the dream to end or death to show its face. Instead, a wave of cold pass over her and that voice fill the air again, more of a yelling sound than a voice really. The yelling was quickly followed by a crash coming from the other end of the room. Clara slowly pulled her head away and saw the familiar man standing across the room hold the demon against the wall. 

The messy red hair, dirty blood covered clothes... it was Max. There was o way that it could be him... right? She knew it could not be real, but somehow it just felt like it really was him in the room. The two in front of her struggled as Clara stood there for a moment, she had no idea what was going on right now. What Clara did know though was that she had to get out of here somehow, there had to be a way out. Anything to get her out of this insanity. “That bitch is going to burn you know.” Isobella said harshly, causing Clara to rush to the door and try and get out only to have her feet swept out from under her and feel herself flying into the benches again. Clara felt her head spinning as she saw Max looking back, his green eyes full of love and panic as the met her’s. The stinging of hot tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of him really caring for her after everything that she did to him. “I’m stronger than you and you know it.” Isobella added as she muttered something under her breath before lunging at Max, but he flickered again and appeared behind Isobella yanking her back by the long back her swishing around. 

All Clara could do was watch in horror as she tried to breathe inching to the door on the floor as angry growls and crashing came from around the room. Clara managed to actually get out of the room and got to her feet faster than she had ever run before. Bolting down the hallway and out the swinging doors only to come face to face with Dean at the other side of the corner, his gun pointed directly at her. Clara’s hands shook as they shot up in the air, a feeling of relief washing over her at the sight of Dean lowering his gun. “Did you get a look at what it was?” Dean asked, his voice serious and firm as he pulled Clara close and put her next to his side. 

“It was Max and Isobella, but it isn’t her Dean. She is different and her eyes... they were black.” Clara said, trying to stop the shaking in her hands as she stood there and heard a door being kicked open from the direction of the locker room. A scream left Clara’s mouth as she grabbed onto Dean’s arm tightly, her whole body shaking. Clara’s heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. Faintly registering that Dean said something when he pushed her behind him, putting himself in between whatever was coming their way. Everything was happening so fast, she felt Dean pull out of her grip, but he stayed close. If she was not already tense enough, her body froze for the second time that night as she watched Isobela walking out of the swinging doors. Her black hair a tangled mess, clothing torn and messy. It was clear that Max gave her a run for her money, but it was clear that whatever Isobela was told the truth earlier. They were very much stronger than Max. 

Suddenly she charged at Dean and Clara watched as Dean moved to knock her to the ground. She could not miss the way that Dean fought, the gun gone and replaced by some kind of knife. Isobela and him exchanging blows, one after another. When Clara saw Dean on the floor with Isobella violently smashing her fist into his face she had to do something and ran towards the pair only to have a force stop her and Max to flicker in front of her. That was all it took for her to stop mid-step, she just stood there looking at him as he smiled a little. Before she could say anything that thick southern accent started. “Go bunny, run as fast as you can. I will keep her here.” He said, putting his hands on her shoulders and giving them a soft squeeze. His hands were not warm like they always were, not they were ice cold and the pressure of his hand was barely there. The sound of a loud cry made the both of them look back in time to see Isobela’s chest light up as Dean pulled a knife out of her chest, watching her drop to the floor before rushing for his gun. 

Clara saw him try to pick it up only to have it slide across the room away from him. “You aren’t going to hurt her. I won’t let you.” Max said firmly, causing Dean to stop his movements and frown. This was too much, Dean a killer, her boyfriend back from the dead... it was just too much. Then she saw Dean being flung across the room into a table, the chairs scattering across the room and one crashing down on him. Clara panicked and rushed over to Dean’s side to help him. 

“Dean, are you okay?” Clara asked as she turned her back on Max for a moment and looked over Dean, seeing how bad his face looked after his fight. Forgetting about everything for a moment as she touched one of the growing bruises, only to have the sound of a throat clearing bring her back to reality. The reality of Max being there watching all of this. “It’s Max Dean, I know it’s crazy. He stopped her from killing me.” She said as she turned around and looked at Max, her hand resting on Dean’s leg. “How are you here?” Clara asked as her hands started shaking as Max walked towards her. 

He gave Clara’s a sad smile and reached out to touch her face. “I couldn’t leave you on your own.” Max said, his eyes meeting her’s, still holding all the love and adoration that they used to. Only this time they had pain, so much pain that it hurt her to even look at. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for such a long time, but I think I scared you more than anything. Watching you hurting, beating yourself up over what happened. Then how happy you were with Dean. I want to be here for you.” He explained causing Clara to tear up as she leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. “You need to forgive yourself. I’m not mad at you for what happened, why would I still be here if I was?”

That’s when it hit her he was here because of her, even after everything that she did... he still stayed. Instead of moving on and being happy here he was, trying to take care of her again. “Max... I can’t thank you for saving me enough. I just... you should be happy playing football or sitting in a chair with your mother. You don’t belong here.” Clara said as she moved her hand to Max’s and felt the faint resistance of his hand, getting up and practically lunging at Max. Knowing that this was probably the last time that she would ever see him. “I love you so much, I just...” She took a shaky breath and looked back at Dean who was walking to the door. “I love you and that’s why I need to move on. It’s not right to keep you here, and as long as you are here I can’t move on from everything.” Clara explained as she looked back to Max and felt his tighten the arms that he had wrapped around her. 

It hurt more than losing him the first time to be telling him to go after just having him again. Somehow, she knew that him staying with her would not be healthy and somehow would go wrong. She felt the familiar warm wetness down her cheeks as tears streamed freely while Max started speaking. “I see how happy you are with Dean, and it’s different than the way you were with me. There is something special there, and if me being here is going to stop you from being happy then there is no point in me being here.” This overwhelming guilt hit her as she struggled to pull it together for Max right now. He needed to see that she was going to be alright, and that’s what she was going to give him. 

“I love you,” Clara said softly as she looked into his brown eyes and smiled at him. Leaning forward and lightly pressing their lips together. Closing her eyes and just enjoying the moment, knowing it would be her last like it. A cold breeze washed over her as she opened her eyes and saw that the spot in front of her was empty. He was gone, really gone... She looked around and saw that Dean had left the bar. What if he was going to leave? There would be nothing, no one to keep her from going off the deep end, no one to take care of all over again. Panic rushed over her as she rushed outside and looked around only to see Dean standing a couple meters from the door. She smiled at Dean as relief at the fact that he was still there hit her. Then something else hit her. The dead body in the hall. “I’ll be back.” She said quickly, surprising herself at the fact that she was even thinking level headed enough to be able to think of anything at all yet alone the security cameras. It didn’t take her long at all to clear them, as soon as they were cleared Clara was out of there and lunging into Dean’s arms. 

“Hey, easy there.” Dean said as she felt his arms wrap tightly around her. The comfort washing over her despite everything hitting her at once. Clara’s arms wrapped tightly around him, putting her head in his neck and started crying. With all of the questions running through her head, there were so many places that she could start with that it was impossible to choose. So she did not the just stood there for a while, maybe minutes, or hours. It did not really matter right now. All that mattered was that she was safe right now and neither of them was going to go to jail. “We need to get out of here before people start to come. This place is in the middle of nowhere but people do come.” He said softly, slowly unwrapping his arms from Clara but taking her hand in his hand. “Let’s get out of here.” Dean said as he pulled her to the car. “I’m sure that you have lots of questions for me on the way home.” He said, looking more nervous than Clara had ever seen him when she looked over at him. 

There was no way that she could leave him looking like that. God knows what he was thinking, but the strange thing was that she wasn’t scared of him. Not even a little, because if push came to shove she knew that Dean would never hurt her. “Dean, I saw a ghost and some freakish black eyed monster fight each other. Right now, I have the feeling that there is a lot more out there that I just can’t handle more right now.” Clara explained as she shook her head and sighed, getting in the car and looking up at Dean. “Let just go home and curl up in bed.” She added, wiping at the tear streaks on her face, glancing over at Dean again. Smiling a little at him as his hand rested on her leg and squeezing softly. Just looking into his eyes and seeing the raw emotions in them let her know that they both were going to need time to recoup from this night. 


	10. Simple Man

It had been a day since that night at the bar and Clara had slept through the whole thing. Part of Dean wondered if she was really sleeping or just avoiding the inevitable conversation that they were going to have. Maybe that is why he has not tried to wake her up yet. He was just as scared at the prospect of the conversation as she was. So he settled for laying next to her and scooting close. Knowing she was not sleeping from the uneven pace of the rising and falling chest when he wrapped an arm around her. “You know that you are going to have to wake up eventually babe.” Dean commented to Clara as she scooted closer to him, resting her head between his chest and the bed. When Dean caught a glimpse of how nervous the look on Clara’s face was and he felt a wave of guilt hit him in the chest at the thought of being any part in making her feel this way. She should not be nervous like this, not around him. They should be happy, and just be normal right now. It was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down, though, being normal was just something he would have to fight to keep if it was even possible.

“So, as much as I don't want to ask this I kind of have to. What exactly happened back there? I mean Max...” Dean watched Clara as she trailed off and bit her lip, her composure faltering for a moment. It was killing him to watch her struggle like this, try and stay composed when everything was falling down like a house of cards. Dean had fought that struggle so many times that he lost track; he would give anything to be able to take on the struggle for her. “I am thankful for what you did and everything, I really am. It’s just... I need to know what happened back there and if I am going insane or not.” Clara explained, her eyes meeting his as they sat there for a moment, just watching each other. 

He knew that this was either going to end one of two ways: Clara was going to get overwhelmed by the amount of heavy duty crazy being thrown at her and tell him to leave in an attempt to keep a shred of sanity; or she would believe him and not be able to go back to that normal safe life that was her reality before all of this mess. Clara had a right to know what was happening, though, after everything she had gone through tonight alone... it just was not fair not to tell her the truth. “So I don’t really know how to say this delicately, but what you saw back there was a demon, and Max was a ghost. I don’t know how they both got there at the same time, but that’s what they were.” Dean explained as he watched her lift her head and give him a puzzled look. “This was kind of what I did as a very shitty paying and thankless career before I met you.” He explained, sighing softly, his hand running lightly through Clara’s tangled hair as she watched him. Her eyes feeling like they were going to burn holes in his head. 

The silence feeling like hours as it dragged on and Dean laid there getting increasingly nervous her gaze turned to the world outside the window, clearly deep in thought. “There is more out there isn't there?” Clara asked as she looked back at him. On instinct he wanted to say no, every part of him wanted to call Castiel down to wipe her memory. So he did not say anything, instead letting the silence answer her question as she looked away from him again. “No wonder you didn't want to talk about your job before you came here.” She commented, sighing softly as her head shook. “You know that I still love you right?” Clara asked, catching Dean off guard by her words. They never said that four lettered word before and after all of this, and it comes out right this moment of all times.

Dean just watched Clara as she settled back into bed next to him. There was this warmth spreading through him at the thought of honestly being loved despite everything that was a part of his life. He smiled and wrapped an arm around Clara, pulling her close. “I love you too Clara.” Dean said as he leaned down and kissed the beautiful woman in his arms softly, lingering for a long moment as her arms wrapped themselves around his neck. Just enjoying the fact that someone who was completely unaware of anything supernatural existing, found out who he is and what he really did and still loved him. No yelling, or getting kicked out of the house. Just unfiltered love and devotion. 

All too soon he felt Clara pull away from the kiss and smiled as her forehead pressed against his. The two of them just lay there looking into each other's eyes for a moment, their eyes locked with each others. It was a while before the silence between the two of them was broken by Clara’s soft voice. “You know, now that I know what is out there and everything... well I am really glad that I have someone that can protect me and maybe even show me how to keep myself safe from these things.” She explained, giving Dean that smiled that he just could not help but smile back at. “So, be honest. The salt around the doors and windows to ‘keep the bugs out’, and the necklace you told me not to take off. They are all to stop a monster from coming inside in their own ways?” Clara asked as she pulled back a little bit and gave him a sceptical look, tilting her head to the side in that way that told him she was already thinking of the answer. 

“Well the salt does keep the bugs out, but no it was for keeping demons out. They necklace is to stop you from being possessed by a demon. There is also a devil's trap under the area rug in front of the door.” Dean explained as he smiled at her sheepishly, trying to make himself sound the least insane as possible. Not that there was really anyway not to sound insane at this point, but Clara seemed to be actually believing what he was telling her so far. Which he did not know whether to be comforted by it or question her sanity. “So you are actually believing all of this?” He asked, watching Clara as she just smiled at him and reached a hand to his face. The warm flesh meeting Dean’s cheek as she lightly cupped his face and nodded her head a little to answer the question. Wow, she really believed him... and still wants to be here next to him. It was all just so crazy to think about her really still being here. 

The family secret was out and she did not want to either become a hunter or get as far away from him as humanly possible. This was just too good to be true right now. Nothing good ever happened to him without a price. “So what you said about your brother being in hell then. Is he really in hell and the angels, God and all that Biblical stuff are real?” Clara asked as she moved a hand to Dean’s chest and slowly slipped it up his stomach. “You know what. I don’t want to know any more right now. This is a lot to get through my head right now, I don’t need more.” She said, sighing as her warm fingers traced the muscles on his chest. 

More than anything he was thankful that Clara dropped that thought as soon as it came to her. The last thing that either of them needed was to open up the deep hurt of losing his brother. “Honestly, I’m just glad that you still want to be around me and haven’t kicked me out yet.” Dean commented, trying to get the topic as far away from her question as possible to stop it from coming back. Shaking his head Dean looked into Clara’s eyes and just let himself get lost in them, watching the love and passion swimming inside their depths. “You know, I think I have a way to distract you from the troubling thoughts in your head. It will make you feel really relaxed.” He said, smirking a little bit and slipping a hand under her shirt, fingers lightly trailing up her spine. Grinning at Clara when he felt a shiver run through her body and she pressed closer to him. “You like that? Just wait till I’m done with you.” Dean explained as he rolled on top of Clara, his hands on either side of her head, bodies flush against each other

Dean watched her as she bit her lip and looked up at him her breathing faster than it should have been, even for in the heat of the moment. Before he could say anything Clara spoke for him. “I’m sorry, I just... I don’t know.” She said softly, her voice coming out shaky and weak. Dean rolled off of Clara and to the side, pulling her close, feeling those slender arms quickly wrap around him. The last thing that he wanted to do was cause Clara more stress, or upset her in anyway. So, as much as Dean really wanted to make her smile with the best way he knew how... that just was not what she needed from him right now.   
So he just continued to hold Clara close to him as she shook a little. The telltale sign that Clara was crying again, especially paired with the way she clutched him close again. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. We can just lay here and relax for as long as you want.” Dean said as he ran a hand through Clara’s hair and lightly kissed the top of her head as she tucked it under his head. This guilt was sitting on his chest like a led weight. Sure he had nothing to do with the ghost of her boyfriend coming back, but that demon was on him. That would have never happened if Dean had not had come into her life and put everything she knows in danger just by being there. What was he thinking staying there? The amount of danger that she was in with him in there was insane. The problem was that the demon that came after Clara was not going to be the last thing that would come. Now that the word is out that there is another person that he loves in his life these creatures are going to want payback, and unlike the rest of the people in his life, Clara could not defend herself against these things that would come after her. The damage was already done and there was no going back now.

“Dean.” Clara said softly, her voice cracking a little as she lifted her head and looked Dean in the eyes. “I was so scared back there and I was sure that I was going to die. All I could think about was you and those beautiful eyes; what it would be like the have little children running around the house one day, or just not feeling broken... All I wanted was to spend another day with you Dean, that was all I could think of.” She explained as her eyes looked deep into his. Just like that he knew it was too late to leave Clara. The woman next to him depended on him as much as he depended on her. There was no way that he was going to be able to just slip out in the night and forget her like the other girls. This was so much more than anything he had ever had. Things with Cassie were not even this intense. 

All he did we cup her face in his hands and just look into those beautiful blue eyes. “Well, you have me for more than one day now.” Dean said softly as he smiled at Clara, feeling the happiest that he had in a very long time. Just laying here and knowing that he had someone that genuinely loved him unconditionally. It was more than he could have ever asked for, and more than he would ever deserve. There was no way that Dean was giving this up now. Right, then Dean decided that no matter what he would fight till the end to keep this woman in his life, holding her close like it was the last time they would ever see each other again. “I promise I’m not going anywhere.” He assured Clara, feeling her breathing even out and slow down. Maybe he would not have the white picket fence necessarily, but if just laying in a soft comfortable bed with his beautiful girl next to him was what every day would be like, Well that was all he needed, just the light in his darkness. 


End file.
